NBA

The Orlando Magic Have Reached Shaquian Levels Of Desperation

The Orlando Magic, as you’ve probably heard, are in the market for a new coach and general manager now that they’ve gotten rid of Stan Van Gundy and Otis Smith in their desperate attempt to keep Dwight Howard. Names of potential new coaches quickly emerged – names that made sense, like Brian Shaw, who’s paid his dues as an assistant for more than long enough to earn his shot at a top job. And last night, a name emerged in that general manager search. This name, however, did not make sense. This name was Shaquille O’Neal.

Shaq, of course, just retired from playing last year. Following that retirement, he didn’t get started in front office work: he went to work as an analyst for Inside the NBA. And, well, he hasn’t exactly gotten rave reviews for that gig. So what evidence is there that he could run a team? There… isn’t any. So why would the Magic be interested in hiring him for what’s arguably the most important position in the entire franchise?

While he has no front office experience, the Magic believe O’Neal’s presence within the organization could help them retain Dwight Howard.

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O’Neal, who played for the Magic from 1992 to 1996 and led the club to the NBA Finals in 1995, has verbally sparred with Howard over his use of the “Superman” nickname that O’Neal popularized during his playing career. But sources close to both Howard and O’Neal insist the two privately have a friendly relationship and often send text messages to one another.

In fact, O’Neal often has been a confidante for Howard during this trying season in Orlando.

And there you go. It’s all about Howard. Of course it is. All anything the Magic do anymore is about Howard. Oh, and there’s this predictable addendum:

If O’Neal were to be hired by the Magic, the organization likely would bring in a more experienced basketball executive to work alongside him.

Well, yeah, no shit. So in this situation, Shaq would essentially be a figurehead. An expensive, expensive figurehead (who says he’d “love to” have such a job, for the record). The column linked there argues that if Shaq really can convince Howard to stay, then he should get the job. But there’s no way of knowing until Howard actually stays or goes. You still risk hiring a high-profile guy for a high-profile job – who, again, has no training for that job – to provide one thing. Not to carry out the many, many duties of a general manager, but provide one thing. And it’s no lock he can provide it.

With that in mind, it’s no wonder that many are wondering if there’s anything to this story at all, or if it’s just Shaq planting the rumor himself. It, unlike anything else about this story, makes sense – Shaq promoting himself is way more believable than an NBA team having interest in him running it, because again, have we mentioned he has never held a front office position and has not even proven himself to be a competent NBA TV analyst?

The Magic, for their part, aren’t talking because “they will not be publicly discussing the process or timetable of their GM and coach searches.” As long as they stay quiet, though, the Shaq rumor will linger, and as long as the rumor lingers, the Magic will be the joke of the NBA. First Van Gundy and Smith get shown the door, now this? They’re starting to look like they’re selling out even worse than the Cavs sold out to try and keep LeBron. We know how that worked out for the Cavs. And if the Magic hired Shaq to try and keep Howard and still lost him? That would be even funnier than the team considering Shaq as GM in the first place.