Bill Walton says whatever he wants. There’s even a mildly bothersome, though popular, Twitter account dedicated to his phraseology. He speaks in metaphor and simile and grandiosity. He strings together words that don’t belong together. He’s a patchwork thesaurus – a high-minded Walt Frazier, if you will.
Something he said to me, once, when I had the chance to speak with him at a Samsung Galaxy S III launch event last summer:
Dime: What is it that Oklahoma City is doing wrong in this series [the NBA Finals]?
BW: They’re not playing as a team, they’re not playing smart enough, and they’re not doing what the Galaxy S III does, which is make it a team game, and have an identity, having a style. The beautiful thing about the Galaxy S III is you put it in your hand and it feels perfect, like the ball. What Oklahoma City has to do is sit together and figure out a style and identity that is going to allow them to control their environment.”
You get the idea. During last night’s Kings-Suns broadcast, which approximately seven people watched, Walton was in rare form. Starting with this Kendall Marshall story, the humblebrag to top all humblebrags.
And later, this:
“The Kings faithful here in the valley of the sun, rising as one, surging towards the court.”
“Chuck Hayes is like a ballerina, the way he floats over the court. His ability to change directions mid-air just defying the laws of physics and gravity. What would Newton and Galileo say?”
And now, your main course, brought to you by an amazing 360 layup by Tyreke Evans.
If you didn’t catch that:
“A thing of beauty. Einstein, Da Vinci, Jobs, and now Tyreke Evans.”
Totally with you there, Bill.
SB Nation’s Tom Ziller, in summary:
Watching Kings-Suns. What the hell was Bill Walton on? Even by his standard he was speaking like a lunatic.
— Tom Ziller (@teamziller) March 29, 2013
Yeah, pretty much.