NBA

The Most Pressing Questions Surrounding The 2010-11 NBA Season (Non-LeBron Edition)

The NBA season starts tonight. Yes, that’s right, the most incredible off-season in league history is about to draw to a close, and viewers get to reap the rewards of the star-studded free agency class of 2010… well, unless you’re in Cleveland.

Sorry guys. But: you’ll be pleased to know we’re going to focus on everything EXCEPT the Decision for this little rundown of ours.

Without further ado: the most pressing questions (not involving LeBron James) of the 2010-11 NBA season.

Is this the last hurrah for Steve Nash and the Suns?

Last year’s brilliant play by Stevie and a rejuvenated Amar’e Stoudamire led them all the way to the Western Conference finals, and one rebound (and put-back by crazy Ron Ron Juice) from making the finals for the first time in Nash’s career. Along with a return to the offensive principles that even premature ejaculators can appreciate, there were high hopes for Suns fans heading into the twilight of Nash’s career.

If they had been able to keep that nucleus together, they might be contenders for the Lakers throne. But with Amar’e's departure to the Knicks, Phoenix decided to go the Road Less Traveled, and signed Hakim Warrick, Hedo Turkoglu, and former Mediterranean baller Josh Childress in a bevy of small forward acquisitions that could mean the new GM is: a) looking to play small ball, or b) he’s lost his mind and is taking advice from the wrath of KAAHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNN.

How will the Carmelo trade rumors and the return of George Karl to the bench affect the Denver Nuggets squad?

‘Melo has one foot out the door, and La La is already shopping for flats in Soho, so how is Denver going to respond? We got to see Chauncey Billups age 5 years in one summer with Team USA, as Russell Westbrook and Derrick Rose made him look like a crotchety grandpa. With so many questions surrounding them,  the Nuggets look to be in a state of turmoil.

Adding to this anxiety: the rest of the squad is eminently forgettable on the court, but unforgettable off of it, with a hodgepodge of personalities that would do well in a WWE ring.

Kenyon Martin, for instance, may make a lewd comment about Chamique Holdsclaw in the locker room, forcing poor George Karl to pull Shelden Williams (and his pre-hominid head) off of him.

Back to the Nuggets: I see them falling to 8th spot in the West, or even missing the playoffs entirely.

Kevin Durant: Hall of Famer and MVP?

Any time a basketball fanatic like Bill Simmons is constantly talking about a young talent, you’ve really gotta pay attention to the guy.  He killed at the World Championships this summer, and his low-key re-up (yes, The Wire has brought “re-up” into the white-guy lexicon) with Oklahoma City kept all the old-timers happy.

Not only that, but OKC has a legitimate team, a team that was one close game in LA from pushing the champs to 7 last year. The continued maturation of Russell Westbrook over the summer, plus keeping the core together, means this team could snag a 2 or even 1 seed in the always tough West.

If Simmons is clairvoyant, Durant might average 35 ppg, and make Oklahoma City a force in the Leftern Conference.

Will Boston mesh as a team?

Nate Robinson and Shaq are the Penn & Teller of the NBA. With the hi-jinks exhibited in Nate’s Twitter feed, and the Big Aristotle’s charismatic persona, there should be no end to the tomfoolery.

They have 4 or 5 seven-footers after signing an aging Shaq and Jermaine O’Neal. With Garnett, and the sidelined Perkins returning sometime over the new year, they will give the weak front court of Miami some trouble (gahhhhh don’t forget–not that the internet would let you–but Miami has D Wade and Lebron in their back-court).

Also, the alien known as Rajon Rondo can’t shoot a lick, even on the charity strike, but he’s probably the fastest guy in the league not named Wall. We think they’ll be tough to beat, but they’ll have their hands full with the two guys in South Beach.

What happened to all the great centers?

The league has vastly changed down on the block, with only a handful of guys making a huge impact from the once all-important 5 spot.  We could point to the lack of hand checking and a faster game dominated by guards, or we could pick apart what we have for big men.

A lot of the greats are just glorified power forwards. Right now, the only true and legitimate centers making an impact are Dwight Howard, the two Andrew’s: Bogut and Bynum, Yao (Even at 25 minutes a game after the knee issues–he’ll still command a double team), Joakim Noah and the gap between his teeth, possibly Brook Lopez and…and…well possibly Howard’s backup, Marcin Gortat?

Seriously, guys like Tim Duncan, Pau Gasol, Al Jefferson, Mehmet Okur, Carlos Boozer are power forwards with center height. Everyone else is either learning to become a center (think Brook’s bro Robin Lopez) or falling by the wayside.

Blake Griffin has already won the ROY, so who is second?

I never really understood how someone like Blake Griffin could win the rookie of the year award, the year after he was a rookie.  Since he never saw action in his first year, that means this is his rookie campaign. Seeing as how he looks to be fully recovered from micro-fracture surgery, he should run away with ROY honors.

So, who comes in second?

Well, there’s the spark plug from Washington, John Wall, who is one of the only players in the league who could get us extremely giddy over a layup in practice. Evan Turner gives Philadelphia’s fans have something to look forward to now that their baseball team is done, but I feel a strong aura of “bust” around the guy. Derrick Favors is still a work in progress (and possibly trade bait for ‘Melo to Jersey), and DeMarcus Cousins is in Sacramento, so we’re convinced he might develop a methamphetamine problem.

All in all, Wall is your best bet to get second place.

Is Duncan done?  How about San Antonio?

Tim Duncan is tired. That’s how I would start a column off about Tim Duncan (with the Tony Kornheiser piece on Rick Barry as my blueprint — where I would replace all the negative nouns and verbs with apathetic ones). He’s just tired.

Sure, the always efficient San Antonio Spurs were eliminated in the second round last year by Nash’s Suns in only 4 games, but they still beat Dallas right?  Manu has that ridiculous bald spot, and refuses to buzz his head.  Tony Parker is diddling Eva (not to be confused with Evan) Longoria, and trying to keep her co-stars off her.

Popovich is trying to teach Richard Jefferson how to throw a textbook chest pass, and really the whole world is different for this team. So what do we think?  They’ll win between 50-60 games this year and probabaly knock off a younger and more athletic team in the playoffs.

Why? Because you should never bet against Pops and Duncan. Even now. They have another year in them, and they’ll surprise at least one team in the playoffs.

Can the Lakers three-peat?

Phil Jackson is back and looking to destroy Auerbach’s record. Kobe is still here.  Pau and Bynum return, and Khloe’s husband is back to grab rebounds and play 3rd or 4th fiddle (like he does in the Kardashian clan). Ron Artest is back so he can get another ring to help schools (which is awesome on about 3 different levels). They even signed Kobe’s nemesis, Matt Barnes, to add some more toughness, and by “toughness” we mean a trash-talker with some tattoos.

So, what do we expect? We think they’ll coast throughout much of the season.  Kobe should only play like 70 games, unless he’s trying to break Jabbar’s record for points, which I wouldn’t doubt. They have all the pieces. If they can get up for the playoffs after nabbing a 3 or 4 seed, we don’t see any team in the West that can beat them except a resilient San Antonio or a frisky OKC team that is firing on all cylinders. We think they’ll return to the title round though.  Who will meet them?

Orlando didn’t really do anything in off-season, except send Howard to Dream’s camp. Boston is a strong contender to get back there, and David Stern will be giddy with another Boston-LA finals that goes 7 games.

Then again…

What’s gonna happen with the Heat? And does anyone care?

Who are we kidding. Of course people care.

Tip Off is tonight!  Miami at Boston at 7:30, Phoenix vs. Portland at 10:00 and Los Angeles vs. Houston at 10:30 (Phoenix-Portland isn’t on TNT). I got goosebumps already.

Pics Via reclinerGM, The Guardian, ESPN, NJ.com, Poudingtherock, and lakertalk