Above is the bracket submitted by Russian professional ice hockey player and captain of the Washington Capitals, Alex Ovechkin. We think this is Ovi’s first time making a bracket. We also think he has unintentionally created one of the most batshit crazy documents in recorded history.
For starters, he has used a dot-based notation system that has turned his bracket into some kind of complex, encrypted Da Vinci code. You have to really look at it to get what he’s trying to do there.
After you’ve crossed that bridge, it will become apparent that Alex Ovechkin has Norfolk State going to the Elite Eight. According to SB Nation, “He might be the only person in America, including Norfolk State grads, to have them in the Elite 8.” They’re right: no one’s expecting much from the 15th-ranked Spartans. But if they do make it that far, he will be seen as some sort of March Madness soothsayer.
So, does this piece of paper, which looks less like a bracket and more like the plans for a nuclear warhead, hold the key to March Madness? Only time will tell. Stay tuned.