Each week we’ll bring you the AP’s college basketball rankings along with serious, measured, professional analysis. Let’s get to Week 7!
1. Arizona (63)
The Wildcats beat “Southern University” last week, a finishing school for sweet tea preparation.
2. Syracuse (2)
3. Ohio State
The Buckeyes beat Delaware and Notre Dame last week. They were down eight against the Fighting Irish in the final minute, but focused on their mantra, “Mind Over Matta,” and managed to eke out a win.
5. Michigan State
The Spartans beat North Florida and Texas last week. Despite repeated pleas from the media, Tom Izzo stated this week that he will only watch the upcoming 300 film if it is a serious Oscar contender.
The Cardinals beat Missouri State and FIU last week. That the Cardinals were able to do it on a beach is even more impressive.
7. Oklahoma State
The Cowboys beat Delaware State and Colorado last week. Thus concludes the State of Delaware’s relevance in the national college basketball picture.
The Blue Devils beat Gardner-Webb and UCLA last week. As is Gardner-Webb tradition, before the game Samwise Gamgee and Spiderman held their annual dunk contest.
10. Wichita State
The Shockers beat Alabama and NC Central last week, recording a win against the rare non-directional directional school, college basketball’s white whale.
The Ducks beat UC-Irvine and BYU last week. Oregon also explored basketball’s physical limits, hoping to use quantum entanglement to get buckets but instead winding up with this.
The Gators beat Memphis and Fresno State last week. Avert your eyes though, no one is ever supposed to pay attention to Florida basketball until March. If you look at them too closely now they’ll vanish forever.
14. Iowa State
The Cyclones beat George Mason last week, fully utilizing their 5-on-1 advantage.
The Huskies lost to Stanford but beat Washington last week. The win means they will be the nation’s alpha Huskies for the foreseeable future.
The Jayhawks beat Georgetown last week. Generally speaking though, it was a bad week for the Kansas system, which took a bold stand *against* social media.
The Tigers lost to Florida but went nuts against Southeast Missouri State last week, pulling off the best steal-blind heave-fast break-alley oop combination of the season.
The Wildcats beat Belmont last week. Amazingly, despite being 9-3, the 40-0 dream still lives.
19. North Carolina
The Tar Heels lost to Texas but beat Davidson last week. Even worse, UNC showed how complicit it is in the NCAA’s racket.
20. San Diego State
The Aztecs beat Southern Utah and McNeese State last week. This week they play St. Katherine College, which is too small to have a Wikipedia page. Is obliterating tiny schools part of the Christmas spirit?
The Buffaloes lost to Oklahoma State last week. It was part of the Coaches vs. Cancer program, which is an excellent cause.
The Hawkeyes beat Arkansas – Pine Bluff last week. The Golden Lions don’t play their first home game until January 18, but I’m sure Pine Bluff is a lovely town.
The Minutemen beat Ohio and lost to Florida State last week. The loss came in part because of a questionable call in the final minute, but isn’t that the kind of craziness we’ve all come to expect from the Orange Bowl Classic?
The Bulldogs lost to Kansas State last week. With the loss, are we freed from the Zags’ tyranny? Is it possible we’ll be able to write them off early? Am I wildly overreacting to a single game? Am I looking for excuses to remove them from the rankings? Is anyone going to answer these questions?
The Tigers lost to Illinois last week in the Braggin’ Rights rivalry. Apparently no one told them that, when it comes to rivalries, bragging rights are an implied reward.
Also receiving votes: Barry Hinson, VCU’s 31-0 run, Scrooge Williams, Simon Skjodt Assembly Hall, Bill Self being a grump, using the backboard, Dunk City getting jobbed, Kevin Ware breaking some hearts, this ridiculous comeback.
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