NCAA Basketball

An Alternative Method To Predicting March Madness

by Kelsey Tyler | 3:37 pm, March 31st, 2012

There are many methods one can employ when trying to predict the outcome of a sports game: sabermetrics, computer-generated analytics, betting with Vegas. But sometimes running numbers is just downright unreliable. I have chosen to forego considering quantitative data altogether in favor of a more human interest approach, if you will. And so, in an effort to lend an additional methodology to bracketology, here is an alternative prediction option – one based on the relative merits of each Final Four team’s leading scorers’ Twitter accounts.

Player Introductions, as presented by their Twitter bios.

Kentucky: Anthony Davis

About Me: forward for the University of Kentucky…wearing #23 this upcoming season…Big Blue Nation!!

Location: Chicago—-Lexington

Website: http://twitter.com/Antdavis23

Louisville: Kyle Kuric

About Me: Unavailable

Location: Unavailable

Website: Unavailable

Kansas: Thomas Robinson

About Me: Current forward for kansas university, born and raised in southeast dc (41^st) F.O.E., just trying to make it! #nodaysoff

Location: out in kansas hoopin

Website: none

Ohio St.: Jared Sullinger

About Me: 140 Characters can’t sum me up…I am who I am.. I do what I do! Don’t ask…YES it is me!

Location: Gym Near You

Website: http://www.ohiostatebuckeyes.com

Final Four Round:

Kuric v. Davis

This match-up was unbalanced from the beginning, not in terms of PPG, blocks, or rebounds, but because it seems Kuric’s Twitter account has been suspended. A Google search for “how does a twitter account get suspended” revealed that either a violation of the site’s Terms & Conditions, or a suspected account hack will suspend it indefinitely.

Winner: Davis, based on his ability to adhere to the site’s Terms & Conditions alone.

Robinson v. Sullinger

Before being done with us*, Sullinger seemed to have perfected the art of the smartphone self pic. His image roll is heavy in markers of the modern self-portrait: extended arms and snarled lips. Not to be outdone, Robinson also offers many a decorated bicep and camera mug.

Winner: Robinson. His image roll includes a meme of himself. Sullinger and Robinson may have been neck and neck in terms of modern day self-portrait artistry, but Robinson knows the internet.

Championship Round:

Davis vs. Robinson: The POY Tiebreaker Edition

On Women

TR: “Every chick ain’t loyal ! And everybody ain’t riding << I learned that !“

TR: “She said she don’t give her number out” I said me neither guess we both lost lol“

TR: “Well that’s all she wrote folks back to my ‘real life ‘ Smh lol“

TR: “A wise woman once said ‘the woman u pick gotta love self more than u so when she say she love u she mean it“

AD: “My girlfriend Miami“

AD: “My girl Miami”

On Sports Industry Professionals

AD: “Tom Brady is known for making these types of comebacks“

TR: “Jay bilas just said “real recognize real” lmao!!!“

AD: “Watching the gymnastics meet and it’s crazy how these girls flip and how strong they are #Respect“

TR: “Yea ima teabow [sic] fan !!“

AD: “Omg a RT from @KingJames would be so freaking awesome!”

On Life’s Annoyances

TR: “Hate when I hide stuff from my self and forget where its at !”

AD: “Why would you put an alarm on the door that I clearly just came through and knew I was leaving right back out…#SMH“

AD: “What was he thinking??“

AD: “Something’s I don’t understand…how do you wear a long sleeve shirt and some shorts…ARE YOU HOT OT ARE YOU COLD!! #confused“

And The Winner Is…

Both of these guys are prolific tweeters (Davis has 2,944 tweets to Robinson’s 9,223) which made combing for best content a chore. But this W goes to Davis, if not for anything else than his flawless execution of the ultimate self-referential device: the personal Twitter feed link on the personal Twitter feed.

*On behalf of KU fans (perhaps a disclosure statement is in order…), I’d like to issue an apology to Sullinger for this reply tweet. Your spin move is indeed a bit slow (although it seems to work just fine for you), but misspelling “lethargic” is no way to craft an effective insult.

Photos via here and here