The Lansing State Journal Definitely Did Not Mean To Publish This “Jabari Parker Picks Michigan State” Story Just Yet

by Glenn Davis | 3:50 pm, December 20th, 2012

In a short while, elite small forward Jabari Parker of Simeon Career Academy in Chicago will announce his college choice. Parker’s one of the most highly-touted prospects in this coming year’s class, and considering he’s already been on a Sports Illustrated cover, he’s one of the most-hyped high schoolers in years. His commitment will be an immediate boon to whichever program lands him, and Michigan State is among the finalists. So imagine the excitement for Spartans fans upon seeing this story on the Lansing State Journal’s website:

And wow! What a scoop! Parker’s decision, before he even announces it! And Michigan State when the wind seemed to be blowing Duke’s way…whoa. How’d they get this so-wait. What was that again?

Parker…announced his verbal commitment to MSU today in his high school gymnasium, with ESPNU on hand to televise.

But… that hasn’t even happened yet… does the Lansing State Journal/Detroit Free Press (the article was written by the Freep’s Joe Rexrode) staff consist of TIME-TRAVELING ALIENS FROM THE FUTURE??? I don’t see any other way. Well, unless they had the article pre-written to post immediately just in case Parker did choose MSU, someone accidentally hit the publish button too early, and the paper later took the story down when it realized its mistake. Sure, the latter might seem like the more plausible option.

… until you look at this EXCLUSIVE PHOTO of the Freep newsroom:

You decide.

[h/t Mark Ennis]

Parker photo via, alien photo via

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We weren’t going to reveal our collaboration with alien journalists until later this evening, but alas, we’ve been found out.

Thanks to everyone who reacted to our technical fail with good humor and understanding. It’s great to see so many people excited about a promising, talented young athlete.

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to report to some lashings.
Anonymous

Luckily we employ our own team of aliens, who were able to break that story. But then they took over our operation and enslaved us, so I’m not sure it was worth it.
Bill

“Dewey Defeats Truman”…!