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ESPNNCAA Basketball

The Nation’s Number One Prospect Committed To Kentucky Via A Haircut


Meet Nerlens Noel, the number one high school prospect in the country. Tonight Nerlens, along with other top recruits, decided on a place to play basketball next season. Let’s give it up for the most creative, and unnecessary, way to commit to a school — shaving the team’s logo into the back of your head.

Nerlens, a shot-blocking big man from Everett, Massachusetts, will follow in the footsteps of other distinguished recruits and play for John Calipari in Lexington. For the fourth straight year, Kentucky will have the nation’s first ranked recruiting class. So, once again, we will get to watch Kentucky destroy the SEC and perhaps the entire NCAA while everyone gets mad at Calipari for being a NBA-prospect machine.

Tonight, as Nerlens made his decision on the “Signing Day Special”, he channeled a bit of LeBron James, as well as perhaps the movie Barbershop. When asked for his decision, Nerlens said, “I’ll be taking my talents to the University of…” and turned around to reveal his ridiculous ‘do.

According to ESPN, Nerlens said coach Cal recruited him “very hard” and that he liked the “incredible fans” at Kentucky. Those are two very good reasons to want to attend UK, and obviously his choice had nothing to do with, say, being able to have sex with the wives of UK alumni. Probably.

Photo via 30 FPS


  • Anonymous

    GO BIG BLUE!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.becoolbepositive.com/ Nedra Houle

    NCAA while everyone gets mad at Calipari for being a NBA-prospect machine.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dan.gaines1 Dan SweetTea Gaines

     ”……. have sex with the wives of UK alumni. Probably.”  Was this story about a top recruit picking his college destination, or slamming a program that is either the envy of some and the pride of others? I am sick of reporters getting in cheap shots just because their team isn’t a recruiting powerhouse. “Calipari cheats” ; “He’s a violator of NCAA recruitment rules.” Blah, blah, blah. Maybe at those other schools it was necessary, albeit still illegal, to persuade players to play for them, but this is the BIG BLUE NATION and they just won #8 (UCLA is sweating now as they went hard for Shabazz Muhammad – doesn’t matter….we got Noel). Haters will hate. Our fanbase at the UofK is like our basketball team…..we dominate everywhere we go. Next time, Mr. Goldschein, do your readers a favor and report what IS happening, not what HAS happened. If I wanted a history lesson, I would read John Adams again.


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