The Quinnipiac Men's Basketball Team Employs Clones
Tom Moore, Sean Dougherty, and Eric Eaton were, apparently, grown from the same stem cell in a campus laboratory. This is the most profound discovery of the 21st century.
After failing to make the NCAA Tournament yet again this season, the three coaches return to their pods deep beneath the campus to hibernate in a viscous liquid until recruiting season begins. Until then, they will share the same thoughts and emotions as they float around, nude, in the fetal position.
These are three different people. Admittedly, Tom Moore and Sean Dougherty look more similar than Eric Eaton — but every experiment has a margin of error.