Anyone Can Apply To Be USC’s Next Head Basketball Coach, So I Did
USC recently parted ways with basketball coach Kevin O’Neill. O’Neill had a disappointing tenure with the Trojans, finishing with a record of 48-65 in three-plus years at the helm, including a 7-10 start this year. Additionally, O’Neill was suspended by the school during the 2011 Pac-10 tournament for getting into a verbal altercation with an Arizona booster, so aside from a brief NCAA Tournament appearance that same year, not much went right during the O’Neill era.
So the school’s understandably going in a different direction – and they’re casting a wide net. How wide? Well, as The Dagger pointed out earlier today, anyone can apply. So I decided I would. I went to the USC jobs website, picked the basketball head coach position, and gave them the relevant information, including resume and cover letter. Here is that cover letter:
Dear [USC Athletic Director Pat] Haden:
I realize I’m not a traditional candidate to become the next head coach for USC basketball, but I’m confident that once you review my application, you’ll see I can provide the new leadership for your program you seek. I have extensive, highly successful head coaching experience in several recurring daydreams, and I’m looking forward to making those into reality as a Trojan.
Could anyone provide a fresher start for your program than me? I doubt it. I would provide a youthful new face for the program (I’m 25, just a few years removed from college myself, allowing me to relate to your players in a way other candidates simply couldn’t). I, along with my staff, would use that youthful energy to our advantage, relentlessly recruiting top talent along the West Coast… within the rules, of course. My strict adherence to NCAA guidelines alone will help me leave the program in a much better position than certain of my predecessors.
As for style of play: I promise aggressive, attacking basketball at both ends of the floor. That’s how the teams I’ve coached in my head have played, and that’s how this one will play, too. No four corners offense for ME, thanks. No, this is a system that will attract the best and allow them to play like the best. And if it sounds like a style that’ll fill the seats at the Galen Center… well, you’re right again.
Again, I understand if I didn’t top your initial list of candidates when you relieved Coach O’Neill of his duties, but I will make hard work and the constant striving for excellence hallmarks of USC basketball if I’m fortunate enough to named head coach. I look forward to speaking with you further about this position, and further proving that my program would make USC proud on the court and off.
Thanks and Fight On,
I figure that cover letter greatly enhanced my chances, but I needed something else to distance myself from the pack. A way to really go the extra mile and prove to Haden and USC president C. L. Max Nikias that I was the man for the job. And I think I figured out just the way:
I understand nothing in life is guaranteed, but I hope you’ll forgive me for being pretty confident once the USC higher-ups see this. And while I certainly hope I get the job, I encourage all of you who are interested to apply for the job yourselves. It’ll be a great learning experience no matter what happens, and who knows – I might be so impressed with your application that I hire you to be a part of my program. How’s video coordinator sound? That’s a coaching breeding ground right there. Anyway, good luck to all applicants, and just in case any of you don’t think I was serious about applying, allow me to offer you some proof:
They know I’m serious, I’ll tell you that much.
Getty photo, by Ethan Miller