NCAA Football

Mike McQueary Stood Under Center In Nittany Lions’ Last “Victory”

Alanis Morissette be damned, this story has to be more ironic than being presented with 10,000 spoons when all you needed was a knife. Seriously, when was the last time you were ever presented with 10,000 spoons, regardless of whether or not you even needed a knife? That’s too many fucking spoons.

Silverware aside, CBS Chicago was gracious enough to point out that after the NCAA took away all of Joe Paterno’s victories dating back to 1998, the quarterback who officially last engineered a victory for Penn State on November 22, 1997 was none other than Mike McQueary. Lest you forget, Mike McQueary was the graduate assistant who originally discovered Jerry Sandusky showering with a boy in 2001 and set this whole big scandal thing in motion.

Mind. Blown.

Of course, since the Freeh Report came out and alleged Paterno and Penn State brass of knowledge of Sandusky’s actions back to 1998, McQueary’s 2001 discovery has fallen by the wayside in terms of its significance. And while this morsel isn’t particularly significant, it’s strangely satisfying to be able to say that the man who originally put the pieces in place for the great Joe Paterno’s downfall turns out to be the man to have quarterbacked his last victory. Retroactively.

Call it irony, or poetic justice, or refuse to believe that Mike McQueary was actually the last quarterback to win a game for the Nittany Lions altogether because the NCAA’s sanctions were less appropriate and effective than if a chicken without its head was responsible for punishing Penn State, but this is pretty cool. Amirite?

[CBS Chicago, photo via Peter Read Miller/Sports Illustrated/Getty Images]