If You Want To Play Sports And Smoke Weed, Go To An SEC School
Through extensive research, the AP discovered that SEC schools don’t care if athletes smoke weed. Through having a beating heart, going to college and watching college football, Americans had already arrived at a similar conclusion and continue not to care about this issue whatsoever. But we still applaud the AP for officially uncovering what we already knew to be true.
“Players testing positive for marijuana in the mighty Southeastern Conference do not face the one-year suspension that comes from getting busted by the NCAA.
In the most successful league of the BCS-era, players routinely get third, fourth and even fifth chances before they’re booted from the team; failed drug tests administered by the NCAA result in the automatic suspension.”
But here’s the best part, courtesy the University of Mississippi:
“Ole Miss athletic director Ross Bjork, who was hired in March, is hoping to strengthen his school’s policy by the middle of the summer. Currently, a second positive test at Mississippi might simply mean the loss of free tickets for family and/or community service.”
Devastating. Not that this is news or anything, but I always assumed that officially, SEC schools cared about punishing students for drug use, while unofficially, they couldn’t care less. Turns out they don’t give a shit officially either.