NCAA Football

A Florida Linebacker Chronicles His Terrifying Battle With A Cockroach

by Glenn Davis | 1:14 pm, August 31st, 2011

Even by the absurd standards of Florida football recruiting, Jelani Jenkins was a big get. Rivals ranked the linebacker as the 10th-best player in the country in the high school class of 2009, and after redshirting that season, Jenkins came on strong in 2010 (albeit on an unusually weak Gators team) to post the second-most tackles on the squad. He’s well on his way to living up to the immense promise he showed coming in, and should be a force to be reckoned with on the field in 2011.

And not a word of that means cockroaches can’t freak him out.

That’s the impression one can’t help but come away with after Jenkins shared via Twitter earlier this week his battle with one of the beasts in his bathroom. And based on the way Jenkins described this monster, if it had been us, we would have been thrown for a loop, too:

i think anybody would be a little caught off guard by a gigantic roach with wings flying into the bathroom while they are in it

[Shudder.] Yes, that’s fair to say. But even a giant winged roach couldn’t be this bad, could it?

cudda sworn i heard it growl at me too

lol no seriously tho this is an issue..the roach had triceps

i think whats gettin me is the fact that its a triple threat bug.. fast, agile, and can fly..thats NOT NORMAL

worst part is its prolly so hydrated ryt now..left my gatorade in there when i bolted out..smh

OK, we don’t doubt this cockroach is freaky…but triceps? Growling? Apparently using those bulging triceps to start chugging a Gatorade bottle? We can’t imagine any bug is that freaky.

OH JESUS WE TAKE IT BACK GET IT AWAY DON’T CLICK THIS DON’T CLICK THIS

Anyway, the roach wound up not being much to fret over, anyway: as Jenkins was working up the courage to fight it (without the benefit of Raid), it scurried off, (hopefully) never to be seen again. We’re not sure if we agree with Jenkins characterizing the pest as “#gatorbait,” though, considering how much it was in his head. To wit:

that was a smart roach tho..i dont even think he wanted to hurt me i think he jus wanted me to think about him whenever i go to the bathroom

Mission accomplished, probably. And we’re really doubtful of the following message from Jenkins, posted earlier today – i.e. after some time to calm down after the roach affair: