- Brian Hoyer Is A Ford Bronco; Johnny Manziel Is A 1970's Jaguar. What Would You Choose?
- Jason Whitlock Explains Why The Seahawks Might Think Russell Wilson 'Isn't Black Enough'
- Lisa Ann Takes 19-Year-Old Notre Dame WR To Knicks Game, Sex Town
- FANTASY FOOTBALL: Week 8 FLEX Rankings, Starts & Sits
- Browns Offensive Line Using Smarts, Scheme To Pave Way To Solid Start
5 Things You Need To Know About Ryan Quigley, The Jets Punter Who Lives With His Teammate’s Parents
There’s a fantastic profile of Jets teammates (and former Boston College roommates) Ryan Quigley and Chris Pantale in the Wall Street Journal today. Quigley is a punter and Pantale is the team’s fourth-string tight end, and neither makes a ton of money by NFL standards (the league minimum salary is $405,000), so they live in Pantale’s house in New Jersey. No, not a house owned by Chris Pantale — a house owned by Chris Pantale’s parents, Patricia and Bill, 25 minutes from the Jets’ practice facility.
We know that more young men than ever are opting to stay at “home,” but somehow we didn’t imagine professional athletes to be a part of that historic count.
If living in the home of your teammate’s family at 23 could ever be considered having it made, Quigley’s situation would be it. He appears to have a good attitude about the situation and is taking advantage of it to the fullest. Here are five hilarious things we took from the profile, which is worth a read in its entirety:
1. He sleeps in his teammate’s little sister’s room.
Alana Pantale is away at college, so Quigley sleeps in her room, which is described as such:
The hand-drawn, rainbow-colored sign on the bedroom door reads “Alana.” Inside, paintings of pink flowers dot the cream walls. A pair of blue angel wings, covered in glitter, hangs over the twin bed [which has a moon-and-stars-patterned comforter].
2. For obvious reasons, he can’t bring any ladies home.
Oh, good. Nobody becomes a professional athlete to pull chicks anyway.
The drawback: Both eligible bachelors must abide by Mrs. Pantale’s rules. “Chicks?” Patricia Pantale said. “Not in here.”
3. He doesn’t even do the dishes.
Quigley doesn’t pay rent, but does do little things like pick up the check at restaurants. He doesn’t, however, pitch in with chores, at his hosts’ request. (“I try to help with the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, but Mr. Pantale says I do it wrong,” Quigley said.)
4. But he does play chauffeur to a bunch of high school volleyball players.
One thing Quigley can do for the Pantale family is pick up another Pantale and her friends from volleyball practice after dinner. Unlike Pantale, he reportedly makes sure that each girl makes it safely into their respective homes each night. What a stud.
5. He’s always looking for ways to save money.
When Quigley finally got home at 9:30 p.m., a half-hour before bedtime, he plopped onto his bed and pulled out his laptop to log onto Netflix, using a college classmate’s password. A subscription to the online-video service costs $8 a month.
He also laments (perhaps jokingly?) earlier in the story that he and Pantale can’t ride to work together, to “save gas money.”
We get it, Ryan — you want to hold on to your dough. This is commendable. But you can probably afford your own Netflix account. You’re not in college anymore.
BONUS: He’s getting cock-blocked by Pantale, but for good reason.
This is how the piece ends:
The Pantale household got a little more crowded when Alana, a senior at the University of Delaware, returned for Thanksgiving. She had to crash on the living-room sofa because of the professional punter in her room.
Alana didn’t mind. “He’s cute,” she said. But, alas, she said, “Chris won’t let me talk to any of his friends.”
I smell drama upcoming.
Photo via Getty
- Danica Patrick Says She's Sick of Being Sexy
- So What Does Bill Belichick Think About Weed?
- Deion Sanders: Johnny Manziel Has 'Ghetto Tendencies'
- The Top 10 Worst Yankee Contracts