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FOOTBALL SEASON HAS BEGUN: A Drinking Game For Tonight’s Broncos Ravens NFL Openner

  • Jake O'Donnell

broncos ravensI absolutely hate drinking games. There, I said it. But what I hate more, is watching a football game on Thursday, and having to wait two full days to see another. For that reason, I’ll be doing my damnedest to erase my memory tonight, in the hopes that the rest of me week is not filled with angst and jealously over having to wait to watch the Giants play the Cowboys Sunday night in Dallas. Here’s my plan of attack…

The Starting Lineup: The beers will be Coors Original (Golden, Colorado) and Flying Dog Atlantic Lager (Fredrick, Maryland), respectively. Whatever teams has the ball when the “Drink” rule is activated, the beer from the respective team’s home state will be consumed. With the exception of the rule all the way at the bottom. I’ll have to figure out where to get that stuff…

Thursday Night Football Drinking Game (Broncos/Ravens Edition):

Drink…
- Every time they bring up those goddamn posters on the outside of Mile High Stadium
- When they reference the “Har-Bowl”
- If you’re watching it online at NBCSports.com
- Every time Cris Collinsworth says “It’s one of those”
- Definitely when they bring up Al Michael’s DUI
- When they mention Ray Lewis
- The entire time they interview Ray Lewis
- If they cut to commercial and Peyton Manning is in the first one that comes up
- If they show a highlight from last season’s AFC Championship game after the first five minutes of the game
- Every time Peyton throws a pick after an audible
- When they talk about Joe Flacco’s contract but qualify it by lamenting how nice/humble a guy he is
- If they bring up the Elvis Dumervil fax machine fiasco (drink again if Al or Cris says “Elvis has left the building”)
- If they explain what drug Vonn Miller tested positive for, drink that drug
- Every time a flag is thrown for an offensive lowering of the head penalty (crowning?)
- If there’s a Thursday night theme song
- Drink a pint of yak’s blood when Bob Costas comes on the air, because that’s the only way to get your soul back after he’s on your TV

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