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Fantasy Football: Week 1, As Told Through GIFs

Look: we live in a visual world now, okay? There’s no point in writing scads about how our fantasy season is going, or how it makes us feel. Describing those universal emotions, especially as they pertain to sport, is for the great writers. You know, those solitary, visionary wordsmiths: the Halberstams, the Foster Wallaces, the Camoozes (plural of Camus, duh). We decided we’d round up our fantasy weeks with GIFs instead.

First, a bit of background. In the waning moments before the 1 o’clock games started, most people in the SportsGrid Fontasie League felt a bit like this:

And really, that was because we thought we’d done some pretty excellent preparing. We loved our teams, we loved our backups. Everybody was convinced he (or Jen) could win.

Of course, then the season started.

And pretty much the second Fred Jackson got crunched by Laron Landry, poor old Foges was like:

This is a feeling that only got worse across the league. About halfway through the third quarter, when it became apparent that hitching one’s wagons to the Carolina Panthers offense was a really, really bad idea, Intern Evan was pretty much like:

Of course, not everybody’s season burst into flames in the first three and a half hours. Not all was poopy. Julio Jones beasted, Tom Brady looked like Tom Brady, and all seemed right with the world.

Then the four o’clocks started.

Greg Jennings was just the stinkiest, the Packers defense decided it would be just fine to play the way they did last year, Deangelo Williams figured there was no reason to play well against a divisional opponent at home, Ryan Tannehill wouldn’t stop sucking long enough to throw to Reggie Bush, and:

Which is why some of us spent the hour-and-change between the four o’clocks and the night game like:

But then the night game did start, and when it became apparent that Peyton Manning could be very much like old Peyton Manning this year, Jordan celebrated thusly:

Nobody else did much in the way of celebrating (thanks for nothing, Isaac Redman!). For the most part, the week had been won and lost already for most of us. But a couple of us needed performances to come through to win Week One, so we settled down to watch the Monday night doubleheader with the TV turned up nice and loud, and locked in:

And by halftime, thanks to some rugged running by the Law Firm and some timely grabs by AJ Green, some of us (okay, me) had won their first week! The rest of us (okay, Dylan, Glenn) had to console themselves by watching their top guys submit decent performances in losing efforts.

Tune in next week!

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