- Our NBA Power Rankings: Once Again, Everyone Is Underestimating The Spurs
- U.S. Men Smashed The 4x400 Relay Record, Reportedly Received 'Love' Afterwards
- Minnesota Representative's Racist NBA Tweet Leaves A Big Mess
- Oh ... Oh No. Here's The Helmet An Arena League Team Will Be Wearing This Season
- Florida Basketball 'Chasing Greatness' In The Season's Stretch Run
The Proudest Jared Allen Tradition: Listing His Alma Mater As “Culinary Academy”
Vikings defensive end Jared Allen played his college football at Idaho State. It says so here, and everything. So why, during player intros for tonight’s Pro Bowl* (which, let’s face it, you did not know was tonight), did Allen list his alma mater as…
Cooking schools are producing way more football talent than we thought. Well, either that, or even the players are so bored by the Pro Bowl that they have to do things like make up joke schools for themselves to make it bearable. (Our money’s on the cooking school one.)
And while we were tempted at first to think, “Well, that sounds like a way less badass alma mater than Ball So Hard University,” we then thought: a Jared Allen culinary academy would probably involve killing this, and these, with your bare hands, then ripping out their flesh and eating it raw. A Jared Allen music institute would involve the same activities, as would a Jared Allen law school and Jared Allen court stenographer school. Jared Allen just really likes to kill, is what it comes down to.
*It’s been pointed out that this was not unique to tonight’s game, but even so, we’re pretty sure nothing more interesting than that is going to happen tonight.
- Trainer Robert Garcia Spills Marcos Maidana secrets
- Marcos Maidana Drops Jaws
- Tyson Fury Returns to the Ring
- Does Ruslan Provodnikov Strike Fear In Juan Manuel Marquez?