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The NFL Today Celebrates Halloween With Awful TV Segment

Kris Jenkins, a four-time Pro Bowl defensive tackle for the Panthers and Jets, signed on to contribute to CBS’ The NFL Today in September. Apparently, the show liked what it saw from Jenkins enough that they decided to let him star in a Halloween-themed segment yesterday. Well, either that, or they actually hate him and thought it would be funny to throw him out there and leave him to flounder during one of the weirdest segments ever filmed:

My, but that set looks familiar, no? Other aspects of this segment that leave questions to be asked: everything. Awful Announcing’s Matt Yoder already asked several, but there are more, like: why was Jenkins’ preparation so frantic right at the start? So he would have time to address his Tom Brady photo and Phil Simms dartboard? Why is he just letting the children roam through his house? Why is everything accompanied by a wacky sound effect? Why do some of the kids just magically appear out of thin air?

And how was Jenkins able to lip-read the nonsense Kid LeBron was mouthing? Also, yes, we get that he’s “locked out” because of the NBA lockout, but why was Kid LeBron locked out of this house when the door was standing wide open? We’ll also have to agree with Yoder that at least at this point in time, acting isn’t exactly Jenkins’ strong suit – not that any acting could have saved most of those jokes (Andy Reid as Big Bird was the only thing we kind of enjoyed unironically).

Put it all together, and – well, we just dropped a Tim & Eric reference yesterday, but all we can think of when we hear those sound effects is the Gravy Robbers blooper video with Zach Galifianakis. Maybe The NFL Today should get that pair to write the next one of these segments they do – at least then, nothing would make sense intentionally.