NFLWeird But True

The Cowboys’ Lawrence Vickers Left Practice With… What? And Where?

The crotch is no laughing matter, ladies and gentlemen, but we’ll admit it: this story had us more than chuckling. Yesterday, Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers was forced to leave OTAs at the Cowboys’ camp after fire ants invaded his trousers and wreaked havoc. Things only got more comical (for us) upon the revelation that Vickers is allergic to fire ants.

This has to be the least lucky man on the planet, right? First, Vickers finds out he’s allergic to fire ants (which I suspect is not a common allergy). Then, during OTA’s, a hoard of those buggers find their way into his pants? The next time there’s a lightning storm, I’m not standing next to Lawrence Vickers.

Gotta feel for him, too. It’s every man’s natural reaction to manipulate the crotch region when things go awry down south, but when there are ladies present, one has to hold off the impulse:

“I was trying not to squeeze myself in front of women out there,” Vickers said. “I wanted to pull my pants down and run inside, but I couldn’t do that. When those ants get close to those testicles, there ain’t no laughing about that.”

We feel your pain, Lawrence. We feel your pain.

h/t Hot Clicks via Larry Brown Sports, photo via

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