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Which ‘Experts’ Should We Embarrass With Their Crappy NFL Picks? For Now, Here Are SportsGrid And Pete Prisco’s Crappy Week 1 Picks
The word “expert” is a pervasive parasite in sports media. It’s at its worst in the NFL, where every week we are force-fed “expert” predictions that typically provide no insight. This even happened to me, recently.
I have previously exposed the inanity of mock drafts, first with the Todd McShay/Mel Kiper monster, and then with the NBA Draft/Chad Ford less-monstrous monster.
Now, it’s time for these presumed gambling experts, who, we can assure you, are not experts.
For now, we’ll start with Pete Prisco of CBS Sports as the “expert” to embarrass, because we want him to shut up. But we’re open to suggestions. We will most likely include Bill Simmons, but he doesn’t have picks up at the moment.
We won’t call ourselves “experts,” because we’re not experts, and we respect your intelligence. We’re merely educated football fans trying to do something really difficult. We’re honest about that.
However, we do have one in-house expert: a cat on a Roomba vacuum cleaner. For each matchup, Rick’s sister placed the two teams’ logos on the floor, put the cat on the Roomba, and whichever one it went to was the pick. We assume this is how Prisco picks.
Here are our Week 1 Picks, against the spread. You can find the spreads, as well as analysis, in my more-detailed writeup.
Also: forgive the janky apperance; I’m working on it and I’m not an expert at creating grids, despite working at one. It’s a grid from SportsGrid; don’t be picky.
We will track ourselves and the “expert(s)” so you can mock us (or be shocked by our wisdom).
Notes: Point spreads are taken from 5dimes.eu sometime near the end of the week. They fluctuate, but we have to pick a number, and we do. Also, yes, the Broncos game happened already. Is it a coincidence that we all picked the Broncos? I can tell you that we all did it honestly, but you don’t have to believe me. Eric also definitely gchatted me “i have a weird feeling Peyton will throw 7 TDs, idc if that sounds dumb.”
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