David Terrell was the 8th overall pick in the 2001 NFL Draft and is widely considered a bust with only 1,602 receiving yards and nine touchdowns in his five-year career. Recently he appeared on Chicago website Red Eye’s list of biggest busts by the Chicago Bears.
Terrell was notified about the list and had this to say when he spoke with the website:
“Man, I led the league in like every category basically until Rex broke his foot. When Rex broke his foot, after that, the season was over. I caught, I mean, I had nine different quarterbacks after Rex Grossman. I caught a ball from nine different quarterbacks in one year. Did you forget that?”
What an original premise, a cocky wide receiver blames his quarterback for his failures. He also might be Jay Cutler’s biggest fan:
“I would have cut off both my balls. I’d give those up, no problem. You could have neutered me. I woulda been neutered with a smile. Shit, man, for real.”
This testicle-quarterback exchange would be an interesting premise for NFL free agency. Imagine if a part of player negotiations was how many balls the player going to give up for a quarterback on the team, or vice versa. It would be a new way of classifying quarterbacks: We would call the elite quarterbacks “Two-ball QBs.” The headlines would read: “Aaron Rodgers Gets Five-Year, $100 Million, Two-Ball Extension” or “Welker Signs Two-Year $12 Million Contract — One Testicle To Manning.”
The only problem with this new wrinkle is that professional quarterbacks don’t give a shit about hoarding human testicles. Oh well, back to the drawing board.