- 8 Players To Sell High After Your Fantasy Football Draft
- NFL Finally Delivers News: Josh Gordon's One Year Suspension Upheld
- UH-OH: John Rocker Going On Survivor With A Gay Couple
- Preliminary Deal Reached For $410 Million Soccer Stadium In Las Vegas
- Brett Favre Talks Returning To Green Bay, No Regrets About NFL Career
Stephen Colbert Demands Animals Be Used For Predicting More Than Sports Outcomes
Last night, Stephen Colbert tried to make sense of the worsening conflict in Egypt, so he turned to the pundits who make a living predicting these kinds of situations. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to know what to make of the rampant violence any more than he did. Colbert knew what to do next, though…thanks in large part to animals who predict sports outcomes.
Colbert explained that “science provides the answer” when we can’t do it on our own. He cited examples such as Groundhog Day (which yesterday was, after all), and made special note of the predictive abilities of Paul the Octopus (R.I.P.) and two different orangutans who predicted the Super Bowl outcome – one picked the Steelers, the other picked the Packers.
This wasn’t enough for Colbert, though: he said that “it’s ridiculous to waste psychic animals on sports. They should be predicting real world events.” With that in mind, he brought out his show’s Middle East correspondent, “Christianne [sic] Aman-purr.” However, it didn’t go any better (though much more adorably) than when he tried to learn about the situation from humans. Maybe animals should stick to sports predictions. Video below.
|The Colbert Report||Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c|
|Crisis in Egypt|
- Savage Punishment for Laying Hands on Referee
- The Top 10 Hottest NFL Draft WAGs
- Damon Martin Joins Press Row
- Miller vs Diaz Feud Is Getting Nastier