With news that the NFL is looking for performers to actually pay them to perform at Super Bowl XLIX in Arizona, the prospect of a less-than-optimal halftime show could be on the horizon. Why? Because performers — especially the good ones — have this weird thing about getting paid a bunch of money to, ya know, work.
[Fox] The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday that the league has notified Rihanna, Katy Perry, and Coldplay that they are under consideration to perform at halftime of Super Bowl 49 next February. In the process of notifying them, the paper reports that the league has also asked some of the artists to either give a portion of their post-Super Bowl tour proceeds to the league or make some type of financial contribution in exchange for being offered the show.
At this point you might be wondering what’s the worst that could come of this brazen new policy. Elvis fucking Presto, that’s what could happen. The last time the NFL didn’t have a major music act perform at their halftime show was in 1989, when they had a magician — as in a-guy-who-does-magic-tricks — ask the crowd to cheer for what card they were thinking of, or something, it’s hard to notice anything other than this dude’s outfit.
Here was the official billing…
[Wikipedia] “Be Bop Bamboozled” – South Florida-area dancers and performers including Elvis Presto, and 3-D effects
“Be Bop Bamboozled.” Let that sink in. “Be Bop Bamboozled.”
The San Francisco 49ers ended up beating the Cincinnati Bengals 20-16, while Elvis Presto lost to “complete silence,” which is what would have been preferable over his absurd attempt at entertainment.