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America: How Much Sex Do You Think Tim Tebow Won’t Have In His Hoboken Bachelor Pad?
A lot, is our guess. A lot of unhad sex. Maybe not as much as he didn’t have in Gainesville during his college years, but still a lot. The place where he won’t be having all that sex, according to the New York Post, is 2 Constitution Court in Hoboken, N.J., not too far from a certain other NFL quarterback (well, speaking as a resident of the town, nothing is too far from anything in Hoboken; the city’s most widely-acknowledged nickname – the Mile Square City – is a reference to how small it is).
As everything involving Tebow does eventually, there was some controversy surrounding this reported move. It was rumored for a while, to the point where it was spawning joke Twitter accounts – and in an attempt to denounce that account, Hoboken mayor Dawn Zimmer seemingly confirmed Tebow’s move before later denying any knowledge of where Tebow was moving. (This, in looking back through and recounting the details, stands proudly among the dumbest controversies ever, about anything.)
Once again, the power of Tebow: two-time Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning not only lives in town but practiced there with Giants teammates during the lockout… and Tebow’s (reported) new bachelor pad causes a bigger fuss than any of it. And about that bachelor pad: Tebow’s sparing no expense, because places in the 2 Constitution Court building go for upwards of $10,000. (Your humble author does not live in one of those places.) Here’s a look at the building:
Nice place. So enjoy your stay in Hoboken, Tim. Yes, the douchebag factor there can be pretty high, especially when the weekend crowds filter in. Hell, Hoboken almost became the home of a Jersey Shore spinoff before the city mercifully put the kibosh on it. But the place has a lot going for it too – good places to eat, easy commuting to New York City, and nice views. Why, I could hardly think of a better place to settle in and not have tons of sex.
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- Tim Tebow
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