Johnny Manziel wants to be a Houston Texan. There are a few good reasons for this: He’s from Texas; he likes the Texans; being selected by the Texans would make him the NFL’s number one draft pick; the Texans shouldn’t be as bad as they were last year and are less depressing than, say, the Browns. But will it happen?
Manziel has campaigned hard to convince the Texans he’s number one pick material. And while he’s said a lot of good things, this is our favorite bit, via the Houston Chronicle (emphasis ours):
Manziel hasn’t tried to hide his ambition to play for the Texans, and he has a warning if they pass him up and he falls to a team like Jacksonville, an AFC South rival with the third overall pick and a desperate need for a quarterback.
“It would be the worst decision they’ve ever made,” he says, smiling. “I’d be in the same division playing against them twice a year. Sorry, but you just turned that chip on my shoulder from a Frito into a Dorito.”
In case it’s not clear, Fritos are small and not very wide, while Doritos are big and triangular. The whole “chip on you shoulder” thing is supposed to refer to wood, but we’d much prefer someone placing cuts of fried tortilla seasoned with spicy chili or ranch dressing on our backs and telling us to go after our dreams than, um, timber. He’s the number one pick in our hearts now, as well as on our draft board.
Photo via Getty