Yes sir/ma’am, a big ol’ shock of a night in the world of sports! We hope yer sittin’ down, ’cause last night’s results are really gonna ‘knock yer socks off’! Are ya ready to dive right on in? Hope so, ’cause we’re not gonna pull any punches, even if ya can’t believe what yer seein’! OK, ‘full speed ahead’!
The Lakers lost a basketball game.
OK, fine, this one was expected, considering L.A. went into this game at 9-13 and the Knicks were 16-5 (and undefeated at Madison Square Garden) before last night. It wasn’t even all bad for the Lakers, considering they showed some fight: they were down 26 midway through the second quarter, but clawed their way back to within six with a minute to go in the game. But the result was the same as it’s been way too often for a putative (at one time) title contender: they just didn’t have enough to win the game, falling 116-107.
Except for Raymond Felton, who shot 9-for-26, the Lakers could not stop the Knicks offensively… and they had special trouble containing Carmelo Anthony. In what may be the closest he will ever come at the NBA level to replicating the Nigeria game from the Olympics, Carmelo scored 30 points… in 23 minutes. 22 of those came in the first quarter, as the Knicks built a 41-27 lead after one period. It was an especially efficient 30, too: he got there on just 15 shots. He had help (18 from Tyson Chandler and J.R. Smith, four threes from Steve Novak), but more than anyone else, this night belonged to Carmelo. The only thing that stopped him? A third-quarter ankle sprain.
As for the Lakers? Well, the saga continues. They’re 9-14 overall, they’ve lost four straight, they’re 2-8 on the road… again, they were playing a really good team last night (and who’d have predicted that coming into the season, that the Lakers would struggle so mightily against the Knicks and it would be expected?), but the Lakers’ issues get more serious with each mounting loss. Those struggles have Kobe (who scored 31, so the Lakers continue to almost always lose when he scores 30 or more) hoping for an easy fix:
“At this point, I wish we had the Washington Generals on our schedule.”
Well, the Lakers play the Washington Wizards tonight. Close enough.
The Eagles lost a football game.
On Sunday, the Eagles broke an eight-game losing streak with a dramatic last-second touchdown to beat the Bucs. They went wild, looking very much like a group that hadn’t had a thing to celebrate in a long time and determined to get every last bit of enjoyment out of that moment. Well, for their sake we hope they did, because five days later, the Eagles are in a real bad spot once again. They lost 34-13 to the Bengals last night, and while three-touchdown losses are never good, just look at how this one happened.
The Bengals scored 34 points despite gaining only 249 net yards of offense (3.4 per play). How’d they do it? Five Philly turnovers played a big part, including a fumble returned 25 yards for a touchdown. Aside from a 25-carry, 106-yard performance from BenJarvus Green-Ellis, this was a pretty terrible night for the Bengal offense… and they still won by 21. It was a terrible night for offense, period: the teams combined for just 470 net yards. There were seven combined turnovers, and 20 penalties between the two teams. Looking at this matchup beforehand, it was hard not to be underwhelmed… and the teams then met expectations. But, as they’ve done most of the year, the Eagles managed to suck worse than their opponent.
Elsewhere in the Association…
Two other NBA games last night: the once-promising Bobcats lost their 10th straight, 113-90 to the Hawks, and the Blazers pulled off a surprising 98-90 win over the Spurs, who’ve had a rough couple nights. Rookie Damian Lillard scored a career-high 29 for the Blazers – he’d struggled his last coupe games, but last night displayed the form that’s made him the early Rookie of the Year favorite, shooting 11-for-22 and adding seven rebounds and six assists. He’s giving Blazers fans plenty to be excited about… and best of all, his knees have a clean bill of health.
Which means soon, you can trade in the stress of work for the stress of holiday shopping! Peace, love and joy for all!
Photos via Getty