In a report that shockingly did not first appear in Untrue Magazine, an NFL team is said to have contacted recently retired footballer (or, as we in America call them, soccerer) David Beckham to see if he would try out as a kicker. Because if there’s one thing soccer players love to hear, it’s that they’re good enough to play football.
The offer came to Beckham before his final game with Paris St. Germain. Here’s the report from British newspaper The Daily Mirror:
A source in Hollywood said: “A couple of scouts felt that David has the potential to become a kicker in the NFL team, and one actually put a call into him for a trial.
“It is no secret that David is one of the best in the business when it comes to accuracy and length in his passing.
“And he has stood on the greatest stages to perform magnificent feats with his feet.”
It was apparently “understood” that besides knowing how to kick a ball straight, Beckham’s appeal lay in his marketability. “It was obvious too that if Becks took up the offer then any NFL franchise would be interested as his international appeal would generate billions in PR and commercial opportunities.”
Which NFL team could possibly be serious about offering David Beckham, soccer player, a contract on an American football team? One that needs a kicker (several teams do at this point), and one that loves publicity and money (read: all of them). But we have a few theories as to which teams would be so bold in actually extending this offer:
1. San Francisco 49ers
The 49ers had one of the league’s worst kickers in David Akers last year. Though a six-time Pro Bowler, Akers is clearly past his prime, and in 2013 was the worst kicker to compete in the Super Bowl in 29 years. Just up the road (relatively speaking) from L.A., Becks could easily have transitioned to the more relaxed climate of San Francisco. Though it doesn’t seem very Jim Harbaugh-like to chase after PR. [Note: Phil Dawson is old and probably just as washed up.]
2. Green Bay Packers.
Mason Crosby was the worst kicker in the NFL in 2012 with a paltry 63.6 completion percentage. The Packers already have a marketable star in Aaron Rodgers. Imagine Rodgers holding the snap for Becks as the Brit bends it like himself through the uprights, then producing a Pepsi for the two to lip-smackingly share. The marketing potential is limitless here. Plus, Becks loves cheese, probably.
3. Indianapolis Colts.
The Colts’ Adam Vinatieri was 27th in the league in completion percentage last year, and it may be time for the legendary kicker to hang ‘em up. Jim Irsay is just crazy enough to sign a guy like Becks to be a kicker, particularly after entertaining the thought of this Icelandic weightlifter at nose tackle already this offseason.
4. New York Jets.
The Jets play in New York, so marketability isn’t an issue. Nick Folk wasn’t good last year, but he didn’t have a ton of attempts and can boot it from 54 yards. Why would the Jets take on a media circus like that? At position where they already have options? Why would they address a weakness by bringing in an unproven commodity? That’s such a terrible idea, there’s no way the Jets would… oh, wait a second… oh. Oh no. It was the Jets, wasn’t it?
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