The NFL is filled with some weird-ass dudes who can give some weird-ass quotes. Today has seen a bumper crop.
“Happens all the time,” Suh said. “It’s not going to stop. I look forward to it, look forward to keep making plays down the field. That’s my job and to me it’s just gnats that are in the air that keep going after you and you swat at them and sometimes you hit them, sometimes you don’t, sometimes they just run away, sometimes they come back again. But ultimately, I’m that bee going to find that honey hole, that’s what I go and do.”
Ok, first off, bees don’t find honey holes. They live in honey holes. They make the honey. Secondly, that couldn’t sound anymore sexual. “I’m that bee going to find that honey hole.” You can’t make this stuff up. What else do we have? Ah, the black unicorn himself, Martellus Bennett of the Chicago Bears.
“I think me and Coach Trestman are probably the only two people who understand each other. I always say Coach Trestman reminds me of the first Willy Wonka. Not the Johnny Depp one; the Johnny Depp one was really cool. But the first one. Before that. The 1943 version.
“If you really look at Coach, he’s a genius…I thought Willy Wonka was brilliant. I mean he had all kinds of candy. Who doesn’t like chocolate and candies? Everybody wanted a Gobstopper. Ya know? I just think he’s brilliant.”
Sure, even though the original Willy Wonka was a full color film from 1971, and not 1943. But the weirdest part, is how he makes the comparison, only to never really explain the similarities between Trestman and Gene Wilder’s Wonka. He only says they’re both “brilliant,” which, in the case of Wonka, doesn’t make much sense, because the movie makes him out to be a complete nut. It’s the Oompa Loompas who seem to be designing all the technology.
So whose quote is weirder? Let us know what you think…