NHLVideo

The Red Wings Must Land The NHL’s Top Free Agents, Says “Sarah McLachlan” In Heart-Tugging Plea

The Detroit Red Wings are arguably the most-accomplished NHL team of the past decade. As in the cases of the Yankees, Lakers, Patriots and now the Heat, to name a few, this success has led to arrogant fanbases. Hated, entitled fanbases.

This year, with cap space to spare, there is wide speculation that the Red Wings will sign Zach Parise or Ryan Suter, the top two free agents in this year’s class. A desperate (male) Wings fan (“Sarah McLachlan,” with dog in tow, of course) took to YouTube to try and convince them to come to Detroit. Sarah really, really wants them to end the four long, Stanley Cup-less years that he and his fellow fans have been tragically forced to endure.

I don’t care that this was sarcastic. Spoiled fans are the worst. Try showing this video to Minnesota Wild fans. Or Cubs fans, fergodsake. Still, it was a pretty hilarious video. “Tampering is only sometimes illegal in the NHL, so don’t hesitate to pick up the phone,” was a great line, and hey, maybe Zach and Ryan will give it a shot.

And honestly, it’s not a bad advertisement. The majority of states (not provinces, eh!) couldn’t give a crap about their NHL teams, but Michigan is one of the few that actually do. If these guys go to Detroit, people will care. It will be talked about at the water cooler. At Meijer (that’s a Midwestern supermarket, for you damn East and West-coasters!). If they go to, say, Florida, people will be blinded by their LeB(r)oners and won’t even notice.

Reddit user DrexlSpivey420 summed up (non-Michiganders) feelings on the video best:

“Pretty good, but fuck right off.”

The best part of the video was this, though:

“Morale is at an all-time low among Generation-Z Red Wings fans. Our lifeblood is our exhausting magnitude of entitlement and arrogance. To not live in a world where our superiority reigns high over the other NHL spectators is to not live at all. That means we die.“

Sounds like this Michigander is a Wolverine (it’s OK, I’m one too… I’m allowed to say that). And as good a hockey town as “Hockeytown” is, good luck convincing a bunch of young, star athletes to choose to live in Detroit.

[h/t reddit]

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