Ex-Detroit Lions receiver Titus Young was arrested for suspected DUI, released, and arrested again, all in the same day — the second time for trying to steal his car from the towing company impound lot. And say, guess who’s picture will be on the cover of the Lions’ team calendar for the next six months? (Awkward).

Welcome to North Vallejo Little League, where if you ‘assume’ you will not be shot at by someone in the stands during a T-ball game, you make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’.

A street party that got out of hand near the Rutgers University campus drew the attention of police, who dispersed the crowd with pepper spray. One reveler, Rutgers junior Gina Barretti (pictured far left, and on the right), posted this photo to her Facebook page, showing her trying to face down a policeman with a Frisbee. Let’s see how that went for her …

To combat the “boy racers” who are common on the streets of Dubai (but mostly to make them look “classy”), the police have acquired on of these: the Lamborghini Aventador. Top speed: 217 mph. Buford T. Justice: “East bound and down, my ass!”