A bespectacled Arizona Diamondbacks fan drew the instant ire of ESPN commentators (and anyone watching at home who had a rudimentary knowledge of How the World Works) when he stole a baseball that was meant for a pretty lady.
As the Bartmanesque man sits and thinks about what he just did, America thinks about him: where is he from? What does he do on a normal Friday night? Does he paint ceramic figurines of Luis Gonzalez? Does he regret what he just did? Did he leave his transistor radio at home today? How is he rationalizing his actions to the man that he’s talking to?
We may never know these things about Glasses-Wearing Ball Stealer. What we do know: not cool, dude.