Tonight the NBA will crown it’s first ever “Teammate Of The Year”. That’s like “World’s Best Grandma” or “Number #1 Dad”, except the trophy isn’t a cool coffee mug. It’s this catas-trophy, which depicts one of two things:
1) A helpful teammate leading a hand to fallen comrade.
2) A dickish teammate sitting down because he’s throwing a hissy fit and he’s trying to pull this other guy down with him.
No matter what it’s going for, one thing is very, very clear: One of those dudes is clearly pooping standing up. Clearly.
Who’s up for the award? Well, it’s up to “NBA Legends” to decide which player best demonstrates “selfless play, on- and off-court leadership as a mentor and role model to other NBA players and his commitment and dedication to his team.” And the nominees are…
Jerry Stackhouse, Brooklyn Nets
Luke Walton, Cleveland Cavaliers
Andre Igoudala, Denver Nuggets
Jarrett Jack, Golden State Warriors
Roy Hibbert, Indiana Pacers
Chauncey Billups, Los Angeles Clippers
Shane Battier, Miami Heat
Roger Mason, Jr., New Orleans Hornets
Jason Kidd, New York Knicks
Serge Ibaka, Oklahoma City Thunder
Manu Ginobili, San Antonio Spurs
Emeka Okafor, Washington Wizards
A few notable exceptions:
The kid on your rec league basketball team who always played in jeans for some reason
Published children’s author Metta World Peace
Jack Twyman or Maurice Stokes (the award’s namesake)