Unless you’ve been living under a rock — and no disrespect intended if you have — you know that the Brooklyn Nets and Boston Celtics completed a blockbuster trade that sent a pile of garbage and a few boxes of Gatorade to Boston for Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Jason Terry.
That garbage and fruity sports beverage was actually Kris Humphries, Gerald Wallace, Keith Bogans, MarShon Brooks, and some other dude nobody’s ever heard of who was waived immediately and was only included for financial purposes. (His name is Kris Joseph.)
The Boston trio comes to a Brooklyn team that wants to rival the Miami Heat in the East and looks to be capable of at least giving it a good shot. The players unfortunate enough to be traded to Boston enter a team that just traded away their two stars and are in talks to trade away their third, point guard Rajon Rondo. In other words, the Celtics are in full-blown rebuilding mode.
For that reason, this picture of three miserable former Nets holding up their new green-and-white jerseys exists:
Do you see that look on MarShon Brooks face? That’s the face of a man who’s thinking, “I’ve made a huge mistake.” And let’s not get started on Kris Humphries’ forced smile and the fact that Gerald Wallace didn’t even go. Wallace and Humphries are already on the trading block, which might be why Crash didn’t show.
Just as a fun contrast and to rub in how miserable Boston’s season is going to be, let’s take a look at how happy some other players are around the league during their introductory press conferences.
Here’s a slew of new (and re-signed) Clippers with shiny new head coach Doc Rivers:
And here’s a giddy Dwight Howard holding up his Rockets jersey:
Even Josh Smith is happy. Here’s what it looks like get paid:
Last but not least, here’s Andre Igoudala showing off his new Warriors jersey:
Now scroll back up and look at that Celtics picture again. Look at how defeated MarShon Brooks is. Look at Keith Bogans, now on his ninth team in his 11-year career and still so far away from winning a ring. Look at Kris Humphries, pretending to be happy that he got traded to a team that wants to trade him again while holding up a jersey that he might never wear.
And then look at their salaries and you’ll stop feeling bad for them.