Coach K Issues Statement Regarding Grayson Allen’s Suspension

  • Jake O'Donnell

Duke junior shooting guard Grayson Allen not only fits the physical description of your stereotypical, smarmy Duke superstar, but he acts like it, too. Not only did he manage to intentionally trip a no-name opponent (Steven Santa Ana) from a no-name program (Elon University?) — his third such incident — but he threw a temper tantrum afterward.

Dude is the Johnny Lawrence to Duke’s Cobra Kai. He is the perfect bad guy at the perfect villain college basketball empire, and apparently his post game apology wasn’t enough to stave off an indefinite suspension from coach Mike Krzyzewski.

Here’s how coach K described the school’s plan to punish their prized bratty little shit head…

“We have had the opportunity to thoroughly review the incident involving Grayson Allen from last night’s game against Elon. As I stated last night, the incident was unacceptable and inexcusable. He took an important step last night by apologizing in person to Steven Santa Ana and Coach Matt Matheny. As a program, we needed to take further steps regarding his actions that do not meet the standards of Duke Basketball. To that end, we have determined that Grayson will be suspended from competition for an indefinite amount of time.”

An indefinite amount of time sounds bad, but let’s be real: they play 1th-ranked Louisville in five games, so Grayson’s probably looking at a four game suspension, during which time he can lock himself inside his plush dorm room and do the tripping college students are supposed to do. Maybe that’ll help him figure out his compulsion to make people fall down and go boom.

Jake O'Donnell

Jake was hatched from a large egg in 1999, fully formed. His hobbies include sports, writing, and accumulating hobbies. He considers his body is a temple. A very oddly shaped temple. (@_jakeodonnell)