Each week we’ll bring you the AP’s college basketball rankings along with serious, measured, professional analysis. Let’s get to Championship Week!
1. Florida (50)
The Gators beat Missouri, Tennessee, and Kentucky to win the SEC championship and extend their win streak to 26 games. I wouldn’t pick them in the tournament though. Not me. I’d definitely stay away from them at all costs.
2. Wichita State (15)
The Shockers had no games last week and just twiddled their thumbs until Selection Sunday. As punishment for their sloth, they will be executed in the Midwest region.
The Cavaliers beat Florida State, Pittsburgh, and Duke to win the ACC tournament, displaying some brutal shot blocking along the way.
The Wildcats beat Utah and Colorado last week before falling to UCLA in the Pac-12 championship game. At this point, though, it’s probably wise to keep ignoring them and then act surprised when they’re in the Final Four. Who doesn’t like a surprise?
The Cardinals beat Rutgers, Houston, and Connecticut to win the AAC tournament. It’s possible that Lousiville broke Rutgers, but they’re the Big Ten’s problem now.
The Wildcats lost to Seton Hall last week on a buzzer beater, wisely choosing to rest up for the tournament.
The Wolverines beat Illinois and Ohio State before losing to Michigan State in the Big Ten championship. They will lead the pack of teams that plans to corner Wichita State in Indianapolis.
The Blue Devils beat Clemson and NC State before falling to Virginia in the ACC championship. Coach K got such a ridiculous technical foul against the Cavaliers that he became, if only for a nanosecond, a sympathetic figure. The feeling passed though. It always does.
9. Iowa State
The Cyclones beat Kansas State, Kansas, and Baylor to win the Big 12 championship. Even so, they had to pay a price against the Jayhawks.
The Jayhawks beat Oklahoma State and lost to Iowa State last week. Have you guys heard about Andrew Wiggins?
11. Michigan State
The Spartans beat Northwestern, Wisconsin, and Michigan to win the Big Ten championship. Maybe Tom Izzo should set his tournament alert for a few weeks earlier.
The Badgers beat Minnesota and lost to Michigan State last week. They will start the tournament in Milwaukee, which is all I need to hear.
13. San Diego State
The Aztecs beat Utah State and UNLV before falling to New Mexico last week. Also, shockingly, the Aztecs might not have the most sophisticated fans.
The Orange lost to NC State last week. I am beginning to be concerned about the effect they may have on orange’s involvement with the rest of the color spectrum.
The Bearcats beat UCF and lost to Connecticut last week. They also do not understand the point of these rankings. Who cares about a top 25 when we’ve not only identified the 68 teams that matter, but ordered them numerically based on ability?
The Blue Jays beat DePaul and Xavier before falling to Providence in the Big East championship. As is customary, they were clowning DePaul all over the place.
17. New Mexico
The Lobos beat Fresno State, Boise State, and San Diego State to win the Mountain West championship. Having given the Aztecs two of their four losses their season, they will hand it off to New Mexico State to finish the Land of Enchantment’s blood feud against the city (state?) of San Diego.
The Huskies beat Memphis and Cincinnati before losing to Louisville last week. They would prefer not to be asked about SMU’s snubbing, and Kevin Ollie has refused to elaborate beyond saying, “My stance on Methodists has always been clear.”
19. North Carolina
The Tar Heels lost to Pittsburgh last week. If you can, avoid picking a winner for any of UNC’s games in the tournament.
The Bruins beat Oregon, Stanford, and Arizona to win the Pac-12 championship. I understand John Wooden used to fret about where his team was ranked after Selection Sunday.
The Sooners lost to Baylor last week. When they get upset, will anyone even care?
22. Ohio State
The Buckeyes beat Purdue and Nebraska before falling to Michigan last week. They will start the tournament in what is apparently the Great Lakes region.
The Bears beat TCU, Oklahoma, and Texas before falling to Iowa State in the Big 12 championship. So ends the season for the Horned Frogs, who can return to their jobs in the Keebler factory.
The Rams beat Richmond and George Washington before falling to St. Joe’s in the A-10 championship. Please, I beg of you, do not be swayed by their Final Four run a few years ago.
25. Saint Louis
The Billikens lost to St. Bonaventure last week. Someone in your pool is going to pick Saint Louis because they do not know what a Billiken is. Do not resent them if they have success. That’s what they want.
Also receiving votes: Mascot fights, quadruple overtime, noted rim protector David Stockton, sadness, Musburger being creepy, fear, pride,elation, pitching in, comparing white people, unhinged Kentucky fans, geography, starting strong, storming the opponent’s court, flopping on a free throw.
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