Each week we’ll bring you the AP’s college basketball rankings along with serious, measured, professional analysis. Let’s get to Week 12!
1. Arizona (63)
The Wildcats beat Colorado and Utah last week, putting themselves that much closer to complete dominance over the Mountain Time Zone.
2. Syracuse (2)
The Gators beat Alabama and Tennessee last week. This week they play Mississippi State, whose coach recently got in trouble for treating Marshall Henderson like an asshole. If we can’t go after Henderson, who can we go after?
4. Wichita State
The Shockers beat Illinois State and Drake last week. In Drake’s defense, he was tired after hosting SNL.
5. San Diego State
The Aztecs beat San Jose State and survived Utah State last week. With the jump into the Top 5, this is the Aztecs’ highest ranking since Cortes’ arrival.
The Jayhawks beat Baylor and TCU last week. Perhaps more importantly, Joel Embiid has begun to embrace the role of villain.
7. Michigan State
The Spartans beat Indiana and lost to Michigan last week. Despite the loss, this Spartans team is so tough that they even go hard in the film room.
8. Oklahoma State
The Wildcats lost to Creighton and beat Marquette last week. To be fair to Nova, the Blue Jays were raining hellfire from above.
The Wolverines beat Iowa and Michigan State last week. Although the win over the Spartans was huge, Spike Albrecht recorded a big social media win as well.
The Cardinals beat South Florida last week. Former Cardinal Chane Behanan announced yesterday that he would be transferring to Colorado State, in case you’ve been unconvinced but hoping to get into Rams basketball.
The Bearcats beat UCF and Temple last week. Additionally, they remain #1 in the college basketball chimera rankings.
The Badgers lost to Minnesota and beat Purdue last week. Quite frankly, they had a lot to deal with against the Boliermakers.
The Hawkeyes lost to Michigan and beat Northwestern last week. With both Iowa schools directly in the middle, these are also the season’s most geographically accurate rankings.
16. Iowa State
The Cyclones broke their losing streak and beat Kansas State last week. This was because Bill Snyder, who has absolute power over the Kansas State athletic department, is 743 years old.
The Blue Devils beat Miami and Florida State last week, with the latter win Coach K’s 900th at Duke. Is there a more fitting way for such a dour man to get there than by beating two teams from the Sunshine State?
The Panthers beat Clemson and Maryland last week. They were once again led by the excellent play of Lamar Patterson, who I would like to congratulate on having my birthday.
19. Saint Louis
The Billikens beat Duquesne last week. Having successfully beaten the Dukes, they intend to play a ragtag group of earls and viscounts this Thursday.
The Blue Jays burned Villanova and beat Georgetown last week. More importantly, this was the week everyone realized Creighton is a fantastical steampunk monster powered by a lumberjack.
The Minutemen lost to Richmond and destroyed Fordham last week. The loss to the Spiders was especially tough because UMass has not allowed on-campus arachnid research since 1973.
The Tigers beat Houston and South Florida last week. Seriously, what is this conference?
The Sooners beat TCU and Texas Tech last week. Once again, the Christian Science Monitor let this brilliant marketing opportunity slip away.
24. Ohio State
The Buckeyes finally staunched the bleeding, beating Illinois this week after losing to Nebraska earlier in the week and losing the three games before that. It’s possible, and I’m just spitballing here, that this is not the Buckeyes’ year.
The Longhorns beat Kansas State and Baylor last week. Far more amazingly, Rick Barnes has done a *good* job coaching this year.
Also receiving votes: The Billion Dollar Bracket, kicking fans in the face, Har Teels, reaching new heights, passing off the backboard, denying gravity,answered prayers, getting way up there, Marquette in pink, math!
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