Remember that Nevin Shapiro guy, booster-Ponzi Schemer-convicted felon Nevin Shapiro who financed Miami athletics for a number of years? Well, during an investigation into compliance practices of Miami’s athletic department – in particular, working with Nevin Shapiro’s defense attorney – the NCAAA obtained information through bankruptcy proceedings. However, as a useless enforcement committee with exactly zero legal authority, that information was obtained improperly – the NCAA can’t subpoena anyone or anything, and the banruptcy proceedings in question did not involve the NCAA. Therefore, the NCAA has launched an investigation through an outside law firm into itself to make sure they are as ineffective and backwards as possible.
The NCAA released a statement announcing the internal investigation, and NCAA President Mark Emmert is extremely distraught that his organization forgot it had no power.
“I have been vocal in the past regarding the need for integrity by NCAA member schools, athletics administrators, coaches, and student-athletes,” said Association President Mark Emmert. “That same commitment to integrity applies to all of us in the NCAA national office.”
“To say the least, I am angered and saddened by this situation. Trust and credibility are essential to our regulatory tasks,” said Emmert. “My intent is to ensure our investigatory functions operate with integrity and are fair and consistent with our member schools, athletics staff and most importantly our student-athletes,” he added.”
So, to make it perfectly clear: the NCAA is investigating itself for improper conduct in investigating the University of Miami’s improper conduct. Got it. Because remember, college athletics is all about Integrity, capital I. Conduct will be proper, everywhere, because the world out there, it’s full of dangerous and improper boosters.