Donald Trump Says His Standing Ovation Was Bigger Than That One Peyton Manning Got Once

  • Jake O'Donnell

Thus far, Donald Trump’s Presidency has revolved around one thing and one thing only: his inauguration attendance. The man simply cannot let it go that more people attended Barack Obama’s in 2008 (and 2012). During his first televised interview on Wednesday, the most powerful man on the planet proved once and for all that he’s also the most insecure man here, too, obsessed with the possibility (er, reality) that he’s the least popular President in living memory.

Hmm, I wonder why?

Set aside the fact that he should just shut up and be happy about getting the job he spent almost two years auditioning for, Trump should be ashamed that he’s wasted so much time and energy propping up his grandiose self-image when he could be doing something to help other people. But “shame” is clearly not an option in his emotional playbook, so he fends off the darkness by desperately grasping at validation through lies, hyperbole and, now, obscure anecdotal comparisons. That’s right, the President of The United States of America bragged to ABC’s David Muir about the length of the standing ovation he received for his (predictably self-congratulatory) speech in front of a wall commemorating slain CIA soldiers.

“It was the biggest standing ovation since Peyton Manning had won the Super Bowl,” he said, as if that’s something people consider to be the gold standard of standing ovations.

Don’t remember that standing ovation Peyton Manning got after he won the Super Bowl? Well, trust us, it was HUGE, and the people who saw Trump give that speech — apparently “one of the great speeches” — they knew about Peyton Manning’s standing ovation, and this standing ovation was longer. In fairness, the reference he was probably looking for was Peyton Manning’s standing ovation when he returned to Indianapolis for the first time as a Bronco, which did happen after he won the Super Bowl, though it was several years later. Just be glad he had some of the facts straight, because given what we’ve seen, he could’ve easily said something like, “They told me it was the biggest standing ovation since Walter Payton liberated the people of Mars!”

Here’s the quote in what you might otherwise call a “context”…

OK, so I’m glad you asked. So, I went to the CIA, my first step. I have great respect for the people in intelligence and CIA. I’m — I don’t have a lot of respect for, in particular one of the leaders. But that’s okay. But I have a lot of respect for the people in the CIA.

That speech was a home run. That speech, if you look at Fox, OK, I’ll mention you — we see what Fox said. They said it was one of the great speeches. They showed the people applauding and screaming and — and they were all CIA. There was — somebody was asking Sean — “Well, were they Trump people that were put–” we don’t have Trump people. They were CIA people.

That location was given to me. Mike Pence went up before me, paid great homage to the wall. I then went up, paid great homage to the wall. I then spoke to the crowd. I got a standing ovation. In fact, they said it was the biggest standing ovation since Peyton Manning had won the Super Bowl and they said it was equal. I got a standing ovation. It lasted for a long period of time. What you do is take — take out your tape — you probably ran it live. I know when I do good speeches. I know when I do bad speeches. That speech was a total home run. They loved it.

Google “Peyton Manning Super Bowl standing ovation” and tell me what you find. Nothing? Yup, there is no evidence that backs up Trump’s claim — or, technically, the claim someone made to him — that Peyton Manning received any sort of epic standing ovation after Super Bowl L. I mean, I’m sure it probably happened, but to such a magnitude that it becomes a cornerstone of the President’s argument that people like him? Not so much.

The phallic overtones of the man’s military-grade insecurities notwithstanding (my thingy is bigger than the sports boy’s thingy!), this interview was utterly humiliating. Who speaks at a memorial site and walks away thinking it was all about them? Is there ever a moment awkward enough to keep this guy from boasting about his greatness? Please, someone give him a hug before he kills us all after discovering that “The Bachelor” beat his first State of the Union in the Nielsen ratings.

Jake O'Donnell

Jake was hatched from a large egg in 1999, fully formed. His hobbies include sports, writing, and accumulating hobbies. He considers his body is a temple. A very oddly shaped temple. (@_jakeodonnell)