Right now on ESPN.com’s AFC West blog, there’s an article posted called “Time for Elway to think post-Tebow.” It’s written by former Denver Post reporter Bill Williamson, and it outlines all of the ways that Tim Tebow is a sub-par NFL quarterback.
He is “far from competent,” “terribly ineffective,” and “light years behind” other rookies, according to Williamson. His lack of play-making ability, coupled with the fact that at least one thing goes wrong on every snap he takes, means that his window of opportunity is closing pretty fast. And although Tebow had to be given a chance — and Denver’s fans had to see him given a chance — the experiment is failing. He’s just not that good, according to the AFC West blogger.
Although Williamson deals with Tebow’s mediocrity pretty sanely, plainly outlining why the guy can never be an elite NFL passer, ESPN.com’s commenters have decided to take things a step further. Using the greater-than sign (“>”), these helpful denizens of the internet have decided to carefully document everything that is better than Tim Tebow.
Stinky quee efs > Tebow
coke-boogers > Tebow
Eating your kids > Tebow
Playing footsy with the Ryan twins > Tebow
“Murder she wrote” > Tebow
Legally marrying a McRib sandwich > Tebow
what what in the butt > tebow
A Tiger Uppercut to the Junk > Tebow
Leonard Nimoy’s scrotum > Tebow
Aging as quickly as Greg Oden > Tebow
Bob Knight wiping his bu tt and showing his players what he thinks of their play > Tebow
Also among the things better than Tim Tebow: chafing, the band “Journey,” and, finally, having your dog unexpectedly lick your face when you were sleeping with your mouth open. Again: all of these things are greater than completing 46.1% of your passes.