Being creative on the spot is about as easy as doing something that isn’t very easy, but instead, rather hard. Just ask Iman Shumpert, whose girlfriend is pregnant with their first child, a girl, who Shumpert plans to name (drumroll) Iman Shumpert. Dude, you could’ve gone the Nomar Garciaparra-route, flipping the letters in your name and called the poor kid “Nami Shumpert,” which at least sounds like a girl’s name. But you didn’t. You fell asleep at the wheel. You mailed it in. Weak sauce.
Don’t be like Iman Shumpert. Use your brain when naming things you love. Things like your fantasy team.
Like I said, creativity is an elusive jungle cat that hides in your brain like…like a…well, like an elusive jungle cat (see what I mean?). And every year you find yourself in the same predicament needing to harness your right hemisphere to conceive of a name for your pretend football roster. One that doesn’t make you look like a complete square (Team Mike), a psychopath (Aaron Hernandez’s Cellmates), a sex offender (The Tittsburgh Feelers), an idiot (Fartballz!) or a pretentious weirdo (The Phallus Cowboys). You’re gonna want something original and funny that evokes the perfect balance of fear and admiration from your opponents. You want seem like a clever guy who knows enough about football to be taken seriously. You want to be “cool.” That being said, you can either lock yourself in a room until some stroke of genius gives your squad the name it deserves, steal one from our list of 2015’s best fantasy team names, or take the path of least resistance and make a robot figure something out for you. We’re giving you that option, below.
G’head, go find her. She’s out there. Alls you gotta do is click “Generate Random Name” and poof, you can go back to staring blankly at your favorite wall.