Jim Harbaugh is the definitive no-nonsense American male — almost to a cartoonish degree. That’s why is so damn funny to hear (or, read) him recount the time when he chose to pee his pants instead of relinquish his spot in line, just to get his picture taken with a pro baseball player on a Major League field.
[Mercury News] “I was maybe 5, I think my brother was 7, we went to a Cleveland Indians game,” Harbaugh said. “You could meet a player after the game.
“And I had to go to the bathroom really bad. So I had to make a decision… It was either go to the bathroom and not get a picture, or do it right there in my pants.
“So I chose to go in my pants and my parents have this picture of a big ring right here (points to an obvious place on the front of his pants).
“I just want that picture for some reason. I really want that picture.”
Let that stew around that melon of your’s for a second.
Makes total sense, right? Of course Jim Harbaugh is cool with peeing his pants — no Earthly force can stop him from his achieving his objective.
The part of his story that really got our attention (other than the whole “points to an obvious place on the front of his pants” part), was how he’s looking for that picture. That means that picture actually exists and may, one day, be released unto the heart of darkness that is the sports blog-o-sphere, and cherished like a holy relic sent from Valhalla.
In the meantime, we’re entertaining ourselves by imaging what it’d look like if Harbaugh peed those $8 Wal-Mart khakis he’s constantly wearing, because afterall, isn’t that what $8 Wal-Mart khakis are made for? They’re basically work-casual diapers for dads.
Photos via Getty