First he wins a Super Bowl. Then he signs a 6-year, $120 million deal. Now he’s playing Johnny Unitas in final scenes of an upcoming biopic, based on the book “Johnny U: The Life and Times of Johnny Unitas” by Tom Callahan. Don’t give him the Oscar just yet, you haven’t heard what it’s called: “Unitas We Stand.” What, was “X-Men: Unitas” already taken? And let me guess, it’s being produced by “Unitas Airlines” in conjunction with English football club “Manchester Unitas.” Plus, they don’t even look alike. (Puns that didn’t make the cut: Unitas States of Tara, Unitas Artists, Unitas Nations.)
Take a look at the film’s website, which outwardly solicites contributions to the film. Here’s an idea: why don’t you ask ole money bags Joe to cough up a quarter of his yearly $20 million salary. Then you can go ahead and hire someone other than the 6’6″ Flacco, who more closely resembles the 6’1″ Johnny U. Regardless, nostalgic Baltimore sports fans (are they any other types of sports fans?) must be loving the idea of the current star QB portraying the former and arguably greatest pro athlete the city has ever seen. It’d be like Derek Jeter playing Babe Ruth, or LeBron James playing Rony Siekaly.