I play a good deal of Madden 13 on Xbox Live, and a large number of my opponents use their headsets. I choose not to, if only to remain superficially separated from the undignified netherworld of video gaming. Still, Xbox Live has a weird quirk that allows you to hear players chattering into their headsets through your televison’s audio. Why these players would wear headsets when no one’s on the other end – well, that’s another matter.
A little over a week ago, I was playing a Giants-Saints matchup in Madden 13 when my opponent, playing as New Orleans, chose to rattle off a play-by-play of his emotional state through my television. By the end of the first half, the guy was losing his shit so badly that my brother and girlfriend willingly a) watched me play Madden for 20 minutes and b) recorded the proceedings – both remarkable feats. (It’s their laughter and voices that you hear on occasion in the video below.)
The dregs of the internet have a few of these floating around – LEEEROOOOOYYY JENKINS!!!), but this one’s still worth your time, I think. For your convenience, I’ve cut down the video/audio to just under four minutes so you don’t have to actually watch me play – instead, you’ll be treated to a delightful reminder as to why your sanity is so goddamn precious.
The game picks up at the start of the fourth quarter, with me leading 17-7. And, as my victory draws closer and closer, my sometimes tearful opponent slowly lets the floodgates open.
The best parts, if you’re curious, come right at the beginning and at the 3:00 mark, though there’s batshit crazy throughout.
And in case you prefer your batshit crazy only in audio form (condensed to just over three minutes!), here ya go!