A little while back, the world was introduced to Tom Brady’s vegan, plant-based diet via Purple Carrot, who now carry the appropriately named ‘TB12 Performance Meal Plan.’ While none of the meals featured at the time sounded particularly bad, they did not sound like something that would curb your hunger after a long day at work.
So on Wednesday, Brady posted photos of himself making the latest meal in his plan and lo and behold, he was making tacos!
Now that’s something that everyone can get on board with, right?
Bring on the beans and sal…
Wait. So what is this meal again?
“Beautiful, black beluga lentils are the star in these tacos, with supporting roles played by smashed avocado, chipotle crema, and a crisp, refreshing slaw. Be sure to build your tacos carefully–add the guacamole to the tortillas first so that the lentils stay in place. Then top with slaw and crema, and get your taco show on the road!”
First of all, lentils aren’t beautiful. They’re just lentils. Secondly, jut because you put something on a corn tortilla doesn’t mean it’s a taco. So what exactly is in these that will get my Taco Tuesday party going?
- ⅓ cup beluga lentils
- 1 tsp ground cumin
- ½ tsp chili powder
- 2 tsp vegetable broth powder
- 2 oz red radish
- 1 jalapeño
- 2 oz green cabbage
- Fresh cilantro
- 1 lime
- 1 avocado
- 2 tbsp chipotle Fabanaise
- 1 tbsp vegan sour cream
- 6 corn tortillas
- Salt and pepper
Oh Thomas Edward Patrick, you beautiful, skinny bastard.
In all honesty, whatever this is actually doesn’t sound half bad. I myself am a fan of clean eating as often as possible, and a healthy portion of lentils, fresh veggies and pseudo-guac on a corn tortilla is by far the best recipe of TB12’s menu that I’ve seen thus far.
However I also live in Southern California, where the taco is practically sacred.
Tom, I’ve served tacos. I know tacos. Tacos are a friend of mine. Tom, this is no taco.