San Jose Sharks Announcers Try To Make Fun Of Vancouver’s “Green Men,” Fail Miserably, Citing Snow Globes And Basements And Virginity

  • Matt Rudnitsky

The Vancouver Canucks, body-suit-wearing superfans known as the Green Men are beloved stalwarts of the modern NHL. But the Canucks are playing the San Jose Sharks in the playoffs, and the announcers felt the need to mock these fine men’s contributions to society. I appreciate the effort, but can’t applaud the jokes themselves. I’ve been heckled by hecklers as being a “Virgin!” at a sporting event, and I found it tired and boring and unfunny. I suppose the snow globe joke forced an awkward chuckle. But I think we, as an advanced people that have produced a hovercraft golf cart, can heckle better than this.

Next time, I suggest mocking the deformity of the bulges in their suits (dick jokes are never not hilarious), or perhaps the fact that they are Canadian, which always tugs a laugh string in the hearts of fine, law-abiding ‘Mericans.

h/t reddit