Soccer Oh My God Colombia, We’re So Sorry About Not Including You In Our World Cup Pokémon Slideshow
A week or two ago,
we posted 31 hypothetical pairings of 2014 participating World Cup nations with the Pokémon we believed best encapsulated that country. We thought we had included them all. We did not. We left you out, and now we feel absolutely terrible.
So, to make up for it, we’ve given you (what we consider) the coolest Pokémon not currently assigned to a country. If there’s anything else we can do for you — literally anything — name it, and we’ll gladly help you out.
We owe you one.
Una o dos semanas atrás, hemos publicado 31 emparejamientos hipotéticos de 2014 las naciones de la Copa Mundial de participantes con los Pokémon que creíamos mejor encapsulado ese país. Pensamos que todos teníamos incluido. Nosotros no lo hicimos. Te dejamos salir, y ahora nos sentimos absolutamente terrible.
Así que, para compensar por ello, hemos te dieron (lo que consideramos) el Pokémon más fresco no asignado actualmente a un país. Si hay algo más que podamos hacer por usted, literalmente, cualquier cosa, y con gusto le ayudamos a cabo.
Te debemos una.
1.Exeggutor - Brazil
The tropical thing.
2.Gyarados - Greece
Sounds like a Greek name.
3.Onix - Germany
Badass, kinda boring.
4.Pidgeotto - Italy
Sounds like an Italian Renaissance artist.
5.Raticate - France
Looks a bit like Frank Ribery.
6.Slowbro - USA
The word "Bro."
7.Victreebell - Spain
8.Wigglytuff - England
Sounds like a cockney term of endearment.
9.Squirtle - Netherlands
Pretty sure that's the name of a guy on their team.
10.Metapod - Algeria
The only crescent-shaped Pokémon.
11.Persian - Iran
Iran used to be Persia, duh.
12.Staryu - Ghana
One of two star-shaped Pokémon.
13.Ninetales - Russia
Kind of looks like a Siberian Husky, thinks it's tough. Also, looks pretty effeminent -- which is an f-you to Russian anti-gay laws. Sorry, had to do it.
14.Mankey - Costa Rica
A jungle country rife with Capuchin and Howler monkeys gets the monkey Pokémon.
15.Hitmonchan - South Korea
Got the Taekwondo thing going on.
16.Hawlucha - Mexico
We're pretty sure Hawlucha was designed specifically with Mexico in mind.
17.Litleo - Argentina
More of a Messi-centric choice than an representation of Argentina, Lionel Messi is pretty much an anthropomorphized version of this Pokémon.
18.Luvdisc - Portugal
Cristiano Ronaldo. Any questions?
19.Rayquaza - Honduras
Apparently based on the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl, which would qualify it for the Mexican Pokémon title, were it not for Hawlucha. Honduras was home to the Aztecs, so forgive us for conflating the two. THIS IS A LIST OF NATIONAL POKÉMON.
20.Sharpedo - Australia
Just about the sharkiest country in the World Cup, we don't think this needs much explanation.
21.Carvanha - Ecuador
Jungles, rivers, piranhas -- you get the picture. Plus the colors match nicely. No brainer.
22.Chancey - Switzerland
Has healing powers, Swiss flag is the international symbol for medical aid.
23.Donphan - Ivory Coast
Isn't their emblem an elephant or something? Well, ya, then duh.
24.Xatu - Nigeria
Once again, the Nigerian football crest is that of a green bird, so the "green bird" Pokémon gets the call here. Plus it looks like it's wearing a Dashiki, which only helps its case.
25.Purugly - Uruguay
Not only do they share the letters u, r, u, and g, but they do so in the same order! God has chosen this evolved form of Glameow for you, Uruguay. Face it.
26.Articuno - Chile
Yes, we know it's pronounced "Chee-lay," but it's hard not to make a "Chilly" joke here. Just be glad you got an awesome Pokémon, ok?
27.Cobalion - Cameroon
Looks like the illegitimate lovechild of a lion and an antelope.
28.Snorlax - Bosnia-Herzegovina
Turns out, Snorlax is supposed to be a bear -- of which we'll assume there are many of, roaming the woods of Bosnia-Herzegovina, eating honey, and sleeping on things.
29.Voltorb - Croatia
Their trademark red and white checker pattern makes this one an obvious choice.
30.Dugtrio - Belgium
Diamonds come from the ground, so does Dugtrio (Antwerp is the diamond capital of the universe). Plus, they look like chocolate popsicles, which are also big in Belgium.
31.Tropius - Colombia
Columbia: Known for its top-notch drugs, delicious fruit drinks, dense jungles, and dinosaurs.