Madonna, being the Super Bowl XLVI halftime show performer, took questions recently from a media throng. One reporter, though, stood out in cutting through to the important issues. [The Nosebleeds]

God, what would we do without TMZ? Where would we go for reports like these (aptly tagged “STARS IN HEAT”), about A-Rod and WWE diva Torrie Wilson hanging out together in Miami, showing off their “lean, ripped physiques?”

(NOTE: This is your first warning: the newspaper cover after the jump is graphic in nature.) When the man who reportedly captured former Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi yesterday, Mohammed al-Bibi, was seen in a Yankees hat, we were surprised the story gave us any sports angle, and figured that would be it. We were wrong.

After a disappointing postseason, Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez was recently spotted by the New York Post on a golf course doing things we expect A-Rod to do: holding a cigar, looking kind of surly, and cavorting with a muscular blonde woman (the above photo doesn’t do her as much justice as this Daily Mail photo does. She’s jacked.).

Though the Los Angeles Dodgers will finish this season with at least a .500 record, they’ve got problems: they won’t make the playoffs, and they’re owned by a guy with no business owning a Major League Baseball franchise (or, like, a car dealership, for that matter).

None of that struggling, though, can be attributed to Dodgers center fielder Matt Kemp, who’s putting together one of the best all-around seasons in memory. And when you combine his level of play with his archetypal athlete looks and the fact he’s in L.A., you’re going to get opportunities for photoshoots. Kemp recently did one…and he really did it.

Entourage, HBO’s Sunday night scenester porn for the career-driven bro, is in its final season. And although the show is one of the more superficial things you’ll see on TV (this isn’t necessarily a bad thing; sometimes it’s fun to watch things that have little to no reliance on plot), the last few episodes are giving the illusion that life might not end up okay for Vince and the gang: careers are on the line, divorces are getting messy, and exes are pregnant and hateful. Entourage’s entourage will, of course, end up unscathed, but the show is creating the required sense doubt.

In TV Guide’s upcoming salary issue, we learn that NBC “Nightly News” host Brian Williams earns $13 million annually, ABC “World News” host Diane Sawyer earns $12 million, and CNN’s Anderson Cooper makes $11 million. It’s essentially wage porn, which is always an entertaining time.

The Peter North of this list is Matt Lauer, whose new salary with NBC earns him a whopping amount of money to interview birds and piss off Kanye West. He makes, as cultural critic and MSNBC contributor Touré noted, “[Derek] Jeter money.”

Actually, it’s more than Derek Jeter money.

Luis Castillo became a Yankees batboy in 1998, working with the teqam through 2005. That put him right in the middle of championships, disappointments, greats of the game, headcases, and generally left him with a lot of stories to tell. And somehow, he’s allowed to tell them.

If we polled America on which baseball player – and maybe even which athlete, period – was most likely to be compared to the likes of Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, we’re confident Alex Rodriguez would be the name we heard the most.

A-Rod’s one of the best who ever played the game, but in addition to his various self-inflicted off-field distractions over the years, there’s just something about the guy that compels people to rip on him. And no matter the outcome of his latest controversy, that won’t change.

Earlier today, Radar Online published “a blockbuster Star investigation” alleging involvement by the Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez in illegal, high-stakes poker games.

If the phrase “blockbuster Star investigation” makes you skeptical, we don’t blame you. But apparently, MLB’s taking this seriously enough that they’re investigating…and trying to figure out if A-Rod’s actions warrant a suspension. Surprised by all this? You shouldn’t be.