When Pete Kozma smack a home run to center field against the Diamondbacks last night, two lucky fans – a couple, we think – were about to get their very own baseball souvenir. Except no one was wearing a glove, and Mr. Boyfriend wanted no part of catching a baseball with his bare hands some 400-feet from home plate.

If you’re going to be on a baseball card, the picture probably shouldn’t be from the moment you shredded your elbow and needed Tommy John surgery.

In his 20th career game, Arizona rookie third baseman Ryan Wheeler belted his first career home run in the 7th inning last night against the Houston Astros to push the Arizona lead to 11-4. After rounding the bases and returning to the dugout, Wheeler awaited a hearty congratulations. Too bad the his teammates had other plans, as every player remained seated and emotionless for over a minute.

Trevor Bauer may be a top 10 prospect in all of baseball, but his rapping skills are nowhere near that good. The painful evidence after the jump.

Stryker Trahan. There’s a few reasons you should remember that name (besides the fact that it’s a great name).

For starters, he’s apparently made of bricks. The 18-year-old Diamondbacks prospect is still a few years from the Bigs, but when he gets there, we hope he’s still laying out opposing baserunners like he did in a recent Louisiana high school game. Trahan is 6-1, 215, and the kid he hit-sticked was only 5-10, 205 (major leaguers tend to be a bit bulkier), so he will have to add some mass before pulling this stunt on notable locomotives Bryce Harper (6-3, 225) or Mike Trout (a less-imposing 6-1, 200, but with the type of speed that turns him into a homing missile as he rounds third).

Regardless, Trahan’s trucking inspired one teammate to reportedly yell, ”That’s what happens when you hit a brick wall!” Annoying dugout kid is right: the dude is a brick wall.

Arizona Diamondbacks manager Kirk Gibson is now the father of a high school graduate, or so he’s told by those who attended. His son, Cam, graduated from high school in Michigan, but Gibson apparently had better things to do.

Thank goodness for slow motion replays — otherwise, how would we know what happened on this play? They also give us a chance to appreciate the combination of athleticism, skill and timing needed to throw a ball while sitting on your own head. Said replays, after the jump.

It took longer than it looked like it would after they took a 2-0 NLDS lead over the Diamondbacks, but the Milwaukee Brewers are going to play for the National League pennant. And they did advanced in thrilling fashion – a 3-2, extra-inning, Game 5 win punctuated by an RBI single from the Brewers’ most renowned character, outfielder Nyjer Morgan (or as you might know him, Tony Plush). And he didn’t disappoint after he delivered the winning hit, either Video after the jump.

The Arizona Diamondbacks stayed alive last night, defeating the Milwaukee Brewers 8-1 to force a Game 4 tonight at Chase Field. The moment they blew it open: when rookie Paul Goldschmidt hit a grand slam in the bottom of the fifth off of Milwaukee’s Shaun Marcum.

Marcum, who just before his fateful pitch appeared to have some communication issues with his catcher Jonathan Lucroy, proceeded to throw his glove in the air like an angry little leaguer. In my day, the old “ah, fuggit” mitt toss was a big staple of any hotheaded, 11-year-old pitcher.

Video of Mike Fontenot’s collision after the jump.