Warren Sapp, a live mic, and the NFL Network walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll it be?” Warren Sapp whispers, “…the f–king Bill Belichick f–king angle.” Uh, Warren, you’re going off script again. Actually, you’re not even supposed to be in this scene if you want the truth. Go back to your trailer and take the rest of the day off. Video after the jump.

Noted great friend of media members Bill Belichick was uncharacteristically unwilling to share his innermost thoughts with the press following his team’s 28-13 AFC title game loss to the Ravens yesterday, and blew off CBS for a brief postgame interview. This led to an on-air rebuke from Shannon Sharpe – and it was richly deserved. See it after the jump.

Hey, you wanna hear a funny Christmas joke about Santa and alcohol and COCAINE? Well, a Patriots linebacker has got you covered! Laugh a hearty laugh, after the jump.

Donald Trump is just one billionaire trying to wish another billionaire good luck. He just doesn’t fact check his tweets — at least not before Monday Night Countdown picks it up.

The circumstances surrounding Rob Gronkowski’s broken forearm are particlarly Bill Belichick-ian. Leading 58-24 with 3:55 left in the fourth quarter, the Pats were kicking an extra point and Rob Gronkowski was still on the field. So when Gronk got hurt, America was, well, pissed.

Earlier today, we detailed the weird ending to last night’s Patriots-Ravens game, complete with a barely-made field goal and Bill Belichick grabbing a referee in a desperate attempt to review the play. Will Belichick face a hefty penalty for the bit of ref-grabbing? Sure sounds like it.

On a day filled with NFL craziness, the many twists and turns in the Ravens’ 31-30 win over the Patriots stand proudly among the very craziest action of the day. And that includes what happened after the game was over.

Stephen Gostkowski did some heavy lifting for the Patriots today. Four field goals and just one extra point? Usually when you’re talking about the Patriots, it’s the opposite. Perhaps that’s why Gostkowski blew the 42-yard game-winning field goal with one second left in today’s game to send New England to a 20-18 loss to the Arizona Cardinals.

There will never be enough fodder for us to talk about from the Warren Sapp book tour, so in the interest of keeping all you Sapp-o-philes in the know, here’s another bit that might excite you — much like the way Sapp himself excited then-Browns head coach Bill Belichick at the 1995 NFL combine. Belichick had a Ron Burgundy-style erection for Sapp, the NFL prospect.

Warren Sapp, the former NFL all-pro defensive lineman and TV personality with the XXL personality, has written a book. Ol’ Warren is pushing Sapp Attack: My Story pretty hard, with numerous media spots across the country. One such media spot got very weird. The audio, after the jump.