On some level, we get it: mint chocolate chip. Hard to let go of that puppy, girlfriend or not. But she is pissed, forced to just sit there, staring at that melty behemoth. When she makes her initial approach with the tiny, tiny, spoon, she gets the old cone sidestep. Not in this bro’s house, lady. But c’mon, ice cream bro. Look at that spoon! It’s miniature. The most she can scoop is .08% of your ice cream. You gotta share, if only not to incur girl(friend) wrath.

See, what makes this bro-quote particularly bro-y isn’t the generous use of the word “bro”; rather, its absence.

You know what’s unexpectedly hilarious? Giving a man a professional-looking microphone, a suit and some stereotypical sports-interviewing questions, and grilling bros and chicks about their workouts. Especially when you ask them about PEDs.

With today’s news that Russian model Irina Shayk will be the cover model for this year’s edition of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, it’s only appropriate to familiarize yourself with Ms. Shayk a bit more.